Chapter 1

A Story by Risa Maria

Special agent Jeremy Amos was doing navy training solo with a few other agents. He aimed and hit the targets that pop up, shooting almost every one. He stood there, proud of his success. "Nice aim, Jeremy." His teammate said, congraduating him on his aim. His teammate followed another teammate. "What a dork. Let's ditch him and let him shoot targets all day." He said quietly, laughing. They walked away when, they heard a gun go off and they heard someone fall down. "Maybe Jeremy is joking around so we would go back." He said, ready to pretend to believe that he got shot. "I don't know. That sounded real. Maybe we should check on him." David, the other teammate said, starting to head back. "Suit yourself. But, don't come back mad that you believed it." He smirked while he walked away. David rolled his eyes and headed back. "Jeremy, we know you are tricking us." He said as he looked behind the bush. He saw Jeremy, dead with his gun pointed at his skull. Crimson blood poured unto the ground.

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It was just another normal day at the NCIS headquarters in Washington DC. It was summer, the temperature escalating to almost 100 degrees fahrenheit. "Mcgee....Mcgee....Mcgee...." Tony said repeatically. Mcgee is working on an important thing the director gave him; It's due tonight. "Tony, can you shut up? Unlike you, I have work to do. I have to get this paper done by tonight." Mcgee said, annoyed. "Sorry Mcbitter. Just was saying your name." Tony said. "Yeah, repeatically. I heard you the first time. You're just trying to make me mess up on it." Mcgee said, working on the paper again. "Grab your gear." Gibbs said, walking past them. "Gosh! What does it take for everyone to shut up!?" Mcgee yelled, frustrated. Tony and Ziva looked at him. "Mcgee." Gibbs said, giving him the Gibbs stare. "Sorry boss." He said as he grabbed his gear and headed out.

© 2011 Risa Maria

Author's Note

What do you think of it? Do I need to improve? If so, what? Also, don't forget to subscribe to my YT channel, RaspberryAngels. :)

My Review

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Reviews

Zeek4

When you asked "do I need to improve," the answer will always be yes. We all need to constantly improve. In the first sentence, when you said, "training solo with other agents," that's a bit confusing. Solo is alone. I thought your dialogue was believable and it will be interesting to see how your plots develops. Keep up the good work Risa!