Chapter 5

It's getting good. That's all I'm going to say. This chapter has been done for months, I just forgot about the book...

 

Chapter five

By the time we got home, familiarized Gerrard with house, and had dinner it was almost nine o'clock. I got on my computer and checked my messages. Five new, all from Caleb. Mostly they asked what the hell is happening. I quickly typed him a cliff notes version and pressed send. When I turned around Gerrard was standing in my doorway, about to knock. I almost rolled my eyes, but figured it would be best to keep them still.

 

"James, can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked, with an almost ghostly expression on his face.

 

"Yeah, come on in. Close the door if you want." I said, not really wanting to.

 

He walked across the room and sat down on my bed. I sat down in the computer chair and started opening the drawers of my desk, trying to make myself look busy so we wouldn't get into a heart wrenching conversation. When he didn't say anything I looked up at him.

 

"I know you don't want me anywhere near you, let alone in your house. And I just want to say thank you for doing this. You could have said no to Nicole and I would be sitting in a jail cell right now with no where to go. I didn't have a choice in the matter. If I didn't go to school I would be violating my probation. Then the cops would have gone to my house and my dad would tell them I ran away. If you hadn't offered to let me sleep in your house the school would have called the cops, like they did today, and then my dad would refuse to come get me, so I would have been stuck at the jail until god knows when. So I just want to say thank you. And... I'm sorry for everything I've said and done to you all year long. I'm not sure why I did it, because I'm sort of... gay too, but I guess I'm afraid of it. I know that's kind of weird, being afraid of being myself, but that's how I feel. So... thank you, and I'll leave you alone now." He got up to leave and I decided to stop him.

 

"You're welcome." I said, "Do you want to... go get some ice cream?"

 

For some reason I had the sudden urge to make him feel better. Maybe it's that big person inside of me that rarely shows himself. He nodded and we went down stairs to the living room. Mom was reading one of her sleazy romance books and dad was watching Cops. They looked up when we entered.

 

"Is everything ok?" Mom asked.

 

"Yes ma'am" Gerrard replied smiling.

 

"Do you guys mind if Gerrard and I go and get some Ice Cream from Sundayz?" I asked. My dad looked up from his paper at the clock.

 

"It's nine o'clock. I don't think that's a very good idea--"

 

"They're fine hunny. Both of them are old enough to take care of themselves. I'll give you guys twenty bucks. Try not to spend it all." She said, trying to make Gerrard feel at home.

 

"Thanks mom!" I said grabbing the money from her and heading to the back door, Gerrard in toe. "We'll be back by ten-thirty, and I have my phone!" I yelled.

 

We walked to Sundayz in silence. Gerrard seemed to be thinking about something, that was ok with me. I didn't really want to get into any in-depth conversations until I had a large mint chip and brownie milkshake sitting in front of me. When we got inside I ordered and then turned to Gerrard. He ordered a small Ice Cream cone. Before the guy punched in the order I asked him to wait and I asked Gerrard if he wanted anything else.

 

"No, that'll do me." He said.

 

I turned back to the cashier and ordered another large mint chip and brownie milkshake along with the cone.

 

"I was fine with the cone" Gerrard said, looking upset.

 

"Yes, and if that's all you want to eat, then fine. But there's going to be a large milkshake melting because you're stubborn. This is going to teach you a life lesson. You don't have to be stubborn or conserved while you're with my family. We want you to be open, and say or order exactly what you want. So if you really don't want this milkshake then let it melt. It won't bother me. But I can tell that you wanted something other then the cone. So order it." I said, feeling powerful. I probably sounded like a jerk, but if he is going to stay in the same house with me, he needs to be open and truthful. Maybe I'm not a prime example, being that I was in the closet until practically five minutes ago, but now was as good of a time as any to start teaching my family values.

 

"Ok, Jay. Please listen to me. I can tell that you want me to feel welcome or what ever, and I do, but please come off of your freakin' horse. I might be living in your home, and eatin' with your parent's money, but I can still make decisions for myself. You're not gonna control me the entire time I'm staying with you. I just can't deal with that. I've got enough s**t I'm takin' right now and I can't add much more. So thanks for tryin' to get me to expand my boundries, but there are reasons that I'm eating a small cone." He replied, tearing me down.

 

I looked at him in silence, trying to figure him out. This is coming from the same guy that, four days ago, had to use "f**k" in every sentance. When did he become so deep and personal? Jesus, when did he start having feelings? As I looked at him he shook his head and looked down at his ice cream. I decided to apologize.

 

 

"Gerrard, I'm sorry. It's just that I finally feel like... like I have the upper hand, and I wanted to use the power, but not against you. I guess I was power hungry to help you." I said, feeling like a fool. Power hungry to help you? What the hell does that mean?!

 

He began to eat his cone, not responding to my apology.

 

I started eating my milkshake, thinking about what I had just said and how I'd been acting all day long. I started to feel bad, really bad. It seems like I'd been a jerk to him the entire day and all he was looking for was forgivness and a friend.

 

"Do you know what it's like never to have money of your own to spend? Always having to bum it off of other people because your father is to damn greedy to pay for what you need?" He askes, interupting my guilty concious, "All of my clothes come from my aunt. She pays for my clothing and school supplies and other expenses because my dad won't. My aunt offered to let me live with her, but my dad refused... every time. And the only reason I can come up with is because he was afraid that by losing me, he'd lose the only thing left of my mother."

 

I didn't know what to say, "Gerrard..."

 

"That is why I only wanted a small cone. Everyone is always doing something for me, and everytime I have a chance to return the favor, I find a way to f**k it up. So I try to only take what I need, and if I don't need it then I only take a little." He said, looking me in the eye.

 

"I understand, and I apologize." I said smiling. Hopefully we've reached a common ground! We ended up splitting the second milkshake. I spooned some into my empty container and he ate the rest. Nothing was wasted.

 

I woke quickly to silence the alarm on my phone. When I rolled myself out of bed, all I could do was moan. Apparently I'd slept funny so my arm was killing me. I slunked down the hallway to the bathroom, opened the door, and screamed.

 

Having totally forgotten Gerrard was staying with us I hadn't thought to put any underwear on. Mom and Dad usually used the restroom downstairs after showering because I'm the last person to get out of bed. So I've never had to worry about running into anyone, but I did today. When I opened the door I saw Gerrard, much more than I ever wanted to see. He was climbing out of the shower facing the door when I barged in. And of course, where do my eyes land? Right on his... um... lets go with wickerbill.

 

My first official nude male, not my father experience and all I could do was stare at his junk. Now don't get me wrong, it's not like it was special or anything, I just couldn't take my eyes off of it. And likewise. We stood there staring at eachother for what felt like eternity until my dad yelled.

 

"James! Are you up?"

 

"Y – Y – Yeah!" I said, still not able to remove my eyes.

 

His eyes got huge and he grabbed for the towel that was on the sink to cover himself up, making me realize that I was stark naked. I reached down to hide myself and all I found out what made his eyes grow... it was because I was growing! I slammed the bathroom door shut and ran down the hall to my room. I grabbed the first pair of jeans I could find and covered myself up. Oh My God! What just happened? Did I just salute Gerrard??!!

 

 

"So I hear you turned Gerrard gay?" Asked a junior that had been standing by a tree when Nicole and I showed up at school.

 

I turned and looked behind me and then at Nicole, "Is he talking to me??!"

 

"Where'd you hear that?" She asked, giving him a look that could have killed somebody.

 

"Oh a little birdy told me." He replied and walked off.

 

I tried to think of the birdy as Nicole fumed. She looked like she could kill somebody. "Are you okay?" I asked.

 

"No." And she walked into the school, disappearing among the rest of the students. I trugged down the hallway and saw people staring at me. When I turned to look at them they'd turn away. One of the jocks made a gagging motion as I walked by and just laughed when I flipped him off.

 

I spent most of first period avoiding everyone around me. The only thing people wanted to talk about was "Is it true?" or "Why are you helping that b*****d?" I found myself focusing on the lessons and actually trying to get my Biology homework done. The only problem is, when I actually give it the effort, I get finished long before the end of the period. What could I do to avoid the interrogation?

 

I gathered all of my stuff and made my way to the front of the room. "Miss. Callow, may I go to the nurse's office? I don't feel well."

 

"Now James," She said in her sweet, "let's be real" voice, "You're not going to pull a Baller on me now are you?"

 

"Um, no." I said, feeling surprised. I knew that other teachers knew about my hoax, but I didn't think any would actually call me out on it. "I really don't feel well. I have a head ache." My stomach hurts, I have blurry vision, I think I'm having an allergic reaction, my ear canal is filled with wax and I have reached a state of disequilibrium. Yeah, all of these have been used on Baller and worked! But a simple head ache should be able to get me out of this class.

 

"Show me your homework and I'll sign your pass." I did so any made my way to Betsy's office.

 

On my way I managed to run into Flipson, our school's star running back. His real name is Phillip Tompson, but he managed to get the nick name Flipson from the head coach when he couldn't keep the ball in his hands. The coach got tired of screaming Phillip Tompson so much and just started called him Flipson. Flipson snapped at me as I was passing to get my attention.

 

"Hey, come here," He said with a dark look on his face. I really didn't want to, but I walked towards him. "What's up with these rumors I'm hearing about Gerrard being a f*g n'all? Are they true?"

 

That pushed me over the edge. I couldn't take any more of this. "GAY!" I practically yelled. "The word is gay, not f*g!" I put emphasis on last word so that it sounded poisonous. "And if you don't stop using that word I'm going to shove the running back up your a*s... in full gear!"

 

Phillip's eyes were the size of half dollars when I looked at him. He knew which running back I was talking about. But I think what scared him the most was that fact that I raised my voice above a whisper.

 

"Woah... um, dude... um, okay! I got your point. I just want to know if it's true." He said.

 

Disgusted, I started to walk away. But then I figured I could use some information from this jock. I turned back and looked him square in the eye.

 

"Here's the deal: I'll tell you what's true and what's a lie if you tell me who started these rumors."

 

"Okay. I'll meet you at your locker right before lunch. I'm not sure who started the rumors, but I'll figure it out."

 

When I finally made it to Betsy's office, the bell for second period had rung and I had no desire to listen to Mr. Holburt talk for an hour about why the earth spins on it's tilted axis. So I walked in and laid down on one of the medicine beds.

 

"Are you feeling okay hunny?" She asked when she walked into the room.

 

I shook my head and let her do her routine.

 

"Do you just need someone to talk to?"

 

I nodded again and she smiled.

 

"You know, we do have a school psychologist, and three guidance councilors. But if you really want to talk to me, I'm happy to listen. Just know that I'm not trained to give advice that will actually lead you anywhere in life."

 

I told her about everything that had happened in the last three days and she nodded.

 

"Well," She started, "It sounds like this school needs a gay club."

 

I sat up and looked at her like she was crazy. "What are you talking about, Betsy, what do you mean a "gay club"?

 

"It's Ms. Renyolds in here and you know, lots of schools have them. I was reading about them on the internet the other day. They're called "Gay – Straight Alliances or something like that, and they focus on helping gay students. I meant to print it off and give it to you but I totally forgot until now. If you lay down, I'll see if I can't do that for you."

 

I laid back down and began to think of where I'd heard of Gay-Straight Alliance's before... Gay-Straight Alliance, Gay-Straight Allaiance... GSA! Yes, Jefferson High School in a city to the east had a GSA. They had a pride party that I wanted to go too, but I hadn't told my parents I was gay.

 

Betsy, or Ms. Renyolds, came back with a twenty-two page hand book onhow to start a GSA.

 

"I was going to print the article for you, but I found a link that took me to this and I thought that this might help you understand everything better. Take a look and see what you think."

 

"Thanks, do you mind if I spend the rest of this period in here?"

 

"Do I ever?" She replied, rolling her eyes.

 

When I got to third period I sat down in my desk and looked for Caleb, but he was no where to be seen. Nicole walked in a few seconds before the bell and plotted herself in the chair next to me. She seemed to be in a slightly better mood than before, but still not her usual perky self.

 

“Hey, take a look at this.” I said, sliding the packet onto her desk. She looked at the cover, raised one eyebrow and looked back at me with a questioning glace.

 

“Everyone please clear your desks, we are having a pop quiz on the first thirty pages of The Old Man and the Sea. For those of you who read the assigned section, you should do fine. For those of you who didn't or who used a site such as Spark Notes, you might regret it. This quiz is worth twenty points and will not be dropped at the end of the quarter.” Meet Mrs. Averis. She is the Honors Language arts teacher for freshman, and the sole reason why the honors language classes only have about twelve students per period after the first year. She is also the reason that most of us hate reading classical books. It's not that classics are bad. It's just that her quizzes are over the smallest details of a book, you know the ones that you read but don't actually realize you've read? Yeah, those.

 

When I got the quiz, I almost cried. I filled in each question as follows:

1. Although the young fisherman make fun of the protagonist, he is not angry with them. What does this reveal about his character?

   He is a man with pride and wisdom far beyond theirs.

2. Where does Santiago live? Describe his home:

   He lives in a small shack with old furniture and dirty floors. It's one bedroom.

3. In the story's opening, Santiago has gone many days without catching anything. HOW MANY days?

   40 days.

4. Santiago is interested in baseball. Which famous baseball player does he most admire?

   DiMagio

5. Why does Santiago refer to the sea as la mar, rather than el mar?

   Because he respects her and thinks of the sea as a woman. El mar would make the sea masculine.

6.  

I was positive that I missed number four, and possibly numbers one and two. It all depended on how harshly she grades the quizzes. After I turned in my quiz, I returned to my seat and started writing Nicole a note. We were supposed to begin reading the next section of the novel, but I wasn't in the mood.

 

So what was up with you this morning? You just walked off without telling me why you were upset. I think we should look into starting a GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance). Do you want to go to the library at lunch today? So who do you think started the rumors about Gerrard?

I checked to see that she had finished her quiz and then gave her the note and waited for her reply. It didn't take long.

 

S0rry, I'm just not in the mood to talk about it.

Yes I'll come to the library with you, meet me at my locker.

I don't know, but I'll hurt the son-of-a-b***h.

And that was that, she pulled out her journal, a brown hard back bound notebook with a picture frame on the cover holding a picture of a golden heart, and started writing. I knew to respect her wish for privacy by letting her be until lunch.

“Caleb?!” I asked, not wanting to believe my ears. “No, I think you heard wrong. Who did you ask?”

 

“Listen bro, I heard it from a couple of people so I just walked up and asked him and he told me everything.” Flipson said, putting his hands in the air in a “Don't shoot the messenger” manner.

 

“What's everything?” I asked, not really wanting to know.

 

“Well he said that Gerrard shagged his boy friend and his dad walked in on them. Then he beat Gerrard with a metal pipe and tried to kill the boyfriend. Now Gerrard's living with you because you're the only f*g who's stupid enough to take him in, and if you're not careful you'll probably lose your V-key in the shower.” Flipson said, looking at the ground. “He also said that he was only pretending to be your friend so that you wouldn't feel like an outcast, but this is too much.”

 

Well I'll-be-damned. That sounds exactly like something that Caleb would say. He's always bending the truth to make the story good, no matter who it hurts. And the last part, oh that set me on fire. He better be glad that he wasn't in Honors today or I would have seen right through his lies. That boy can spin a tale, but I can always tell when he's lying because he spins the ring on his pinkie finger right along with it.

 

“So what's true?” Flipson asked, bringing me out off my planning Caleb's death.

 

“Um, none of it. Gerrard is not gay, his dad did not beat him with a metal pipe and I'm only letting him stay at my house because his home is having some issues right now.” I said and quickly walked off to find Nicole. Everything I told him was true, right? I mean it's not like I lied to him.

 

Nicole was putting her books in her locker when I found her. Wait... correction: she was launching her books into her locker. When she slammed the door shut (which I'm sure could be heard in Mr. Brown's class) she looked at me and hissed one single word, “Caleb.”

 

As we made our way to the library she ranted about how she was going to break his neck when she got a hold of him. When we turned into the empty corridor that leads to the library I grabbed her by the arm and held her there, staring directly into her eyes.

“Nicole, what's wrong?” I asked.

 

She swallowed once, closed her eyes and silently began to cry. Tears rolled down her cheeks and her body shook with silent sobs. Instinctively I pulled her into a hug and held her until she pulled away, wiping her eyes.

 

“Kaila is...” She began to shake again, staring at the floor. “She's moving.”

 

“Nicole, I'm so sorry.” I replied, not quite sure what to say.

 

“I called her last night, and before she could say anything I said it. I told her I loved her. I apologized for blowing her off and then I explained the situation and when I was done I told her that I love her. She started crying and all she could say was 'I'm moving to Chicago. My dad got transferred to their main office. We leave Saturday. I'm sorry.' and that was it. She hung up. She didn't say 'I love you too' or 'I'm going to miss you.' She didn't even tell me if we'd still meet after school until Saturday. Ugh...” She wiped her eyes once more and then headed into the library. Quietly, I followed.

 

We got checked in at the main desk and went to a work station with two chairs. She pulled out the handbook and followed the address on the cover page: www.glsen.org. The Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network. We spent about twenty minutes surfing the website and making notes on the packet about small things we might need to know. Then we decided to set the project aside.

 

“I think we have enough to handle right now. Why don't we save this for a rainy day?” I proposed, not really wanting to add more to my plate of undesirables. It seems like a lot of students have issues getting the club started. There was too much talk of court and the Equal Access Act of 1984 (which I made a mental note to look up even if we weren't focusing on starting a GSA), it's a lot of work.

 

“Sounds good to me.” Nicole agreed.

 

We started to make our way to the main desk when we noticed Caleb emerging from the student restrooms about twenty feet from where we stood. Nicole dropped her books and walked towards him with a look of almost pure hatred. He looked up from his watch and stepped back, but not before she imprinted her open palm on his left cheek. He swung back as a reaction. She caught his arm and pulled so hard that he hit the ground.

 

“You better keep your f*****g mouth shut or I'll have your a*s.” And that was that.

Reviews

[Icharus]

Our school HAD a GSA, but then kids started calling it G-Sac to make it sound like testicles.
We now have SAFE: Students Accepting Friends Everywhere. Just a name suggestion.

[ssgliberty]

wow that is very intresting, i like the story,you did a asome job.