I Want My Head Back

My mind is full of you,

unwanted invader.

You wormed your way in

On sweet words

and promises of sin.

I want you gone,

handsome parasite.

I cast you from my head

with hateful words

and angry tears shed.

But you return,

in a wink

Or a charming smile

Sometimes a dream

Lets you in for a while.

I wish you'd see

I don't want you

Your words are poison black

I don't love you

I just want my head back.

Author's Note

This needs a lot of work... I know I want to write about the frustration of finding yourself thinking about someone over and over even though you don't want or love them - but I don't think I've captured it very well. Please give critiques on this one because I like the subject I want to like the poem :/

Reviews

[DevKass92]

Lovely poem!
I disagree with you - I think this is beautifully written and perfectly captures your emotions and thoughts. Very thought-provoking and surely will resonate with many readers. I feel your ambivalent yet bittersweet relationship with this 'invader'. Also loved how you expressed both your apprehension and desires for this 'invader'...even if it is only in your dreams. Thank you for sharing this poem with us.

[John Stussy]

On the contrary, despite the shortness of the poem, you seemed to capture a cutting and concise interpretation of such sensations. Quite an obnoxious dilemma, but one easily worked out. All it comes down to is choice. Great work, I hope you find some resolution to this internal conflict.

[J.A]

Anyone can relate to this. Male/female. Doesn't matter. Just the idea of wanting that person out of your mind. Thanks for sharing.

[McBear]

Thought about this.. "Worrying about someone is like letting them live inside of your head rent free" Hell, people that may have hurt us, done something to us, made us sad or even just made a face; they stick in our head and take it over. We just want our head back.

[Gee]

Ah,the charmer,promises all,has his way and delivers nowt but heartache.Nicely done

[Philip Muls]

Head over heels. Powerless. You want to take back control. Well captured here.

Could you read my Lovesick on same theme.

[Alias]

I'll get on it - bear with me! Thanks for review :)

[A hare off]

I knew exactly what this poem was saying because I am quite familiar with this situation or feeling. We know that this person is not good for us, but there is something, something about them that keeps our minds wandering back to their image, their words and sadly, how they made us feel. It may not be love or we try hard to convince ourselves it is not, but it is something. Great writing. The only thing that felt offf a bit to me was the use of "you" as an ending word twice in the last stanza. You could try changing the second line in the last stanza to read something like, "I'm through with this" or "through with us". Just a thought.

[Terry O'Leary]

Very evocative write... ;-))

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think the speaker really wants her heart back---the head knows better but the heart does not comply.

really excellent wording in this poem.

j.

[Alias]

that's very insightful... I'm not sure I'd realised it myself. Thanks for the review :)

[Gaurav]

Your intentions were very rude haha but as i suppose, your heart is good, you just couldn't get frustrated veerly. I enjoyed it though, positivity wins. Thanks for sharing.