Attention W***e

I am lost without

My drug of choice

The sweet caresses

Of your voice

 

I ache for you

When you’re not there

Your hungry lips

And brazen stare

 

I yearn to feel

Your lusting hands

With every touch

My need expands

 

But you don’t see

How much I need

Your constant love

Inside of me

 

I send you kisses

I lay the bait

Then waste my day

and lie in wait

 

Well now I’m tired

Of needing you

Without your touch

I can start anew.

Reviews

[A hare off]

I think we all have a little of this disorder running through us, especially on sites like this. We write hoping someone will enjoy our words, when they do it just increases the need for more and when they don't it feels so bad coming down. I liked this, maybe my meaning is not correct because this poem could be pointed towards many things. Up front is feels like it is speaking of a love interest, but many things can be a love interest. I hear the Who song in my head as I read, See me, Feel me, Touch me, Heal me. Great poem.

[annalysiar]

Beautiful amazing metamorphoses I like it. Real and true in many ways

[A.Klepek]

Wonderful read, loved the rhymes and the feelings presented. Thanks for sharing this. AK

[Laura Lynn]

what an arresting title, caught my attention right away

[andrew mitchell]

A pleasure to read and so well written:)

[Rachael Lea]

This is absolutely beautiful, I feel a lot of people can relate even though sometimes that is not a good thing. Your words painted a vivid picture so beautifully written. Great job!

[Lydia Shutter]

Too much longing is not a good thing...sometimes walking away and recreating yourself is the thing to do. Well written. Lydi**

[Candace]

definitely can relate to this. amazing job!

[fierceauthor]

This says some powerful stuff in a way that makes my thoughts circulate..love it
1000 points

[Bear]

This poem is spectacular, but I have two questions, the first being why that title? It misrepresents in a degrading way the want and passion of your poem. The second question is why break up the sentences as you posted it when it reads so great whole sentence by sentence? I want to thank Poison for sending me the read request for this poem, it was a pleasure to read :~)

I am lost without my drug of choice
The sweet caresses of your voice
I ache for you when you’re not there
Your hungry lips and brazen stare
I yearn to feel your lusting hands
With every touch my need expands
But you don’t see how much I need
Your constant love inside of me
I send you kisses I lay the bait
Then waste my day and lie in wait
Well now I’m tired of needing you
Without your touch I’ll be born anew.

[Cardboard]

Agree and disagree Bear, but not in that order.
I think the title serves as a delicious misdirection, it is part of how the reader perceives the poem and really shouldn't be considered degrading.
However your structure for the words is actually how I read this in my head, it flows better as you have suggested.
Thanks.

[Alias]

I'm not sure why I structured it as I did, that's just kinda how it came out! But I agree it works in the way you've put it. The title is about how need is undermined by labels such as 'Attention W***e', regardless of how genuine. Thanks for your review!

[Bear]

Therein is the issue, I didn't get that at all from your poem and if you have to explain something like that then you need to emphasize it stronger in your poem. Either way, it is a very good poem and I enjoyed reading it :~)

[Alias]

I think the title is a part of a poem, it doesn't just have to describe the content it also adds another dimension. The poem itself is about my feelings of need for someone, but I describe myself as an attention w***e when I behave like that - so that's how I titled the poem. I get what you mean though, I think the poem could address the idea of undermining emotions with labels (it's a good premise actually!!). In your original comment you said it 'misrepresents in a degrading way' - isn't that exactly what people do? That's actually perfect phrasing haha :) thanks very much for for review, I double appreciate people who give constructive advice, I want to improve xxx