Are you sure you're jut starting out in poetry? My guess is you did some writing long before you joined this site? I like all of this, especially tumbles and fumbles and accidents we laughed about. There's a rhythm to that line that dances along nicely. Excellent writing.
argh...I was trying to review you and it kicked me off. I was saying how delightful your piece was because it makes me appreciate my own bruises, something that goes otherwise unnoticed. Lovely!!
I love this!
What a healthy attitude toward the lessons of life.
How many times do we complain and whine about our blemishes?
To think of these moments as flowers blossoming in the garden of our live in empowering psychology. Then to extend it to remembering the energy and fun rather than the pain.
This is special!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank-you! very kind review, I'm glad you see the beauty and the fun side of them :)
Bruises are what you stated in the poetry. Scars made from fun activities are reminders we had some fun. I like the description of the bruises and the ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote
Well the question remains if we have made excuses or if someone else is giving you bruises. Hopefully it was just a drunken fall and not a drunken push that made the bruise.
Whichever the case it may be time to re-evaluate life and relationship.
If just words to a poem from imagination well done also. Peace out.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
No excuses, this isn't about relationships. This is about youth, and the invincibility of it, we fal.. read moreNo excuses, this isn't about relationships. This is about youth, and the invincibility of it, we fall and fumble but the bruises fade, and while they remain they are still happy things. 'We' does not refer to a partner, abusive or otherwise, it refers to close and lifelong friends.
Thanks for your review :)
8 Years Ago
I try not to read the negative into pieces, but with all the abuse, it seems to be the first thing t.. read moreI try not to read the negative into pieces, but with all the abuse, it seems to be the first thing that pops in my head. I had and still have on occasion bruises from too much silly fun. Nice work.
Somehow, it reminds me of someone breaking free from the cycle of domestic abuse. Though there was pain, there was also love, and it's hard to let that go.
'before the clotted blooms die out
they are happy reminders,
of drunken tumbles,
passionate fumbles,
and clumsy accidents we laughed about'
The ending is very solid. Wonderful poem.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
it's not what I had in mind, but I like it. It's yours to interpret and I really like that angle :)
Poems that come out of my brain.
I love to learn from others, so please review and let me know if you want me to read anything of yours, I have a million read requests so if there is a specific p.. more..