Haunted...

9/7/13

That is how it is written

And that is exactly how it haunts me

It sometimes takes a life of its own

And leaves me breathless

Because it is not our date

It is not our anniversary

So what is he flaunting for the world to see

Why does he want to embarrass me

What date is more important then ours

I guess I will never know but that date

This date will always haunt me

In the latest of the hours

Reviews

[Beautiful Intentions]

We never truly forget do we? Can almost remember that exact moment down to the very second when the pain was felt. As if we don't want to forget. As if that moment of despair becomes something of a building block, something of a constant reminder of 'once upon a time' and a devastatingly lost happily ever after. The line, "What date is more important than ours", had truly spoke to me... As this is it. What date is more important? No other... Entirely adore this piece, XO. It had made me a tad angry and a tad lonely and a tad empowered and a tad heartbroken. Such wondrous emotions felt in something so brief, and yet, powerfully delivered. Brilliant! Here's to eventually forgetting.

[Benita Paloja]

Wow! So deep!
“What date is more important then ours”
I can feel your pain and confusion in the above lines.

Thanks for sharing!

[Coyote Poetry]

Date do bother us. Seasons and months too. I liked and I understood the poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Anjali]

Sometimes our own good memory power is what haunts us with the bitter sweet memories we wanna leave behind us. I liked your poem. It's written so beautifully both the words and format.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Haunts live in the cycle of the mind, get ready Nonie, for the next time around.

regards,
al

[D Connolly]

I imagine staring at a lover's tattoo while he sleeps, wondering what happened on that special day, when I wasn't a thought in his mind

[Hebe]

I could feel you were antagonized by finding this date, finding the truth. Impressive and heart-stirring piece.

[Ruth]

I think the bold here adds to the emotion of this piece, sometimes we just have to have write it as we feel/hear it, the poem is striking to the heart and the reader can feel the distress throughout :)

[Great Aunt Astri]

I can sense that you feel this very strongly. As a piece of poetry it cold do with some similes, metaphors, more descriptive words etc don't you think? But did you feel better after writing it?

[JayG]

For someone who has context for this, like you, it makes perfect sense. And, your knowledge of the background gives you context as you read. But look at it from the reader's viewpoint.

• First: I have no clue of why some words are in bold.

• 9/7/13
Could represent 1913, or actually 13, as in the thirteenth year of the reign of someone specific. And because it has no inherent meaning, the reader has a fact, but without connections.

• That is how it is written
Forgetting that in some countries it means the ninth month and in others the seventh, didn't we just see how it's written?

• And that is exactly how it haunts me
How what haunts haunts? How it's written or the actual date? No way to tell.

• It sometimes takes a life of its own
Sometimes what takes on a life of it's own? The numbers? How they're written. Unless the reader knows what they represent, who they represent that to, or ANYTHING that would give them context, it's meaningless.

• Because it is not our date; It is not our anniversary
It's also not the price of a chicken sandwich, or the combination to a lock. It's not, and infinite number of things. Who cares what it's not? But you never say what it is.

Who is the "he" no way to tell. In what way does the date relate to him? You don't say. How does it embarrass the speaker. Can't tell. What were/are they to each other? We're given not even a hint.

Never forget that we wrote our poems for someone we will never meet—someone who knows nothing of us, our intent, or anything other than which words we chose and how we place them. And the only meaning that the words can have for a reader is what they suggest, based on the reader's background. So always write so that the reader will have context to make the words meaningful, as you intended.