My sweet

She used to look up to me

To see how she should be

But I taught her to be herself

Spread love and hope as she wanted to

And that she did

Now I watch as if on the sidelines

On the world my baby sister is creating

And I can't help but grin

My sweet you've done it

And I couldn't be prouder

Reviews

[barleygirl]

It feels very precious to me, when one sibling feels true loving encouragement toward another. You've expressed that feeling, with simplicity, yet also depth. Coming from a family where everyone was abused & pitted against each other, I have always wished for this kind of closeness between me & my siblings. I never write about such things becuz it's hard to imagine. But your poem paints a picture of how it can be.

[XO Vee]

Oh my dear well I'm glad i gave you an idea :)

[Irenic]

Sibling's love is soulful.
Brother and sister bonding is memorable.
Nice work that touched the emotions
Thanks for sharing:)

[Paul Bell]

You have sent her out with confidence.
She'll respect you loads now.

[Dhaye]

Cute! It is great to see siblings loving each other, especially when the big brother is caring for his younger sibling.

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing poem.
"My sweet you've done it
And I couldn't be prouder"
I liked the above lines and you honor yourself by honoring your sister. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[M.A.]

This feels paternal to me I like it, it brought a smile on my face. The way you write and your rhyme scheme is interesting and not the norm to my eyes and mind. I also enjoy what you produce. Thank you for sharing.

[Bala Gorthi]

A beautiful write ,Nony... This is how we feel towards our siblings...
Keep sharing..

[Anjali]

Wow. It felt so amazing to realize you have expressed your true feelings for your little sister. I would say she too would feel proud to have such as amazing sibling as you :)

[Giulia King]

I truly love this poem. It's heart warming, well written and it made smile :)

[XO Vee]

thank you dear !

[Hebe]

you really brought out the feeling of the closeness you can have with your sibling, very endearing poem, that draws out your connection. ...:)

[JayG]

• She used to look up to me
• To see how she should be
This is a fact, true, but not terribly evocative or vivid. You're telling. But suppose you jazz it up a bit with something like:
- - - - -
She used to be my biggest fan
and tried to fill my shoes
"I'll be like you," she swore to me.
"And I will never lose."

Why walk my way, you silly girl
and and only shadow me."
When you can blaze a shining path
that everyone one will see.
Etc.
- - - -
Not great poetry. I don't write great poetry, and this was dashed off with little thought and weak rhymes. But see the difference? What I said was pretty much what you were saying, but rather than simply state it, I alluded to the thought in language that evokes emotion in-the-reader. I provided a cadence and maintained it to give a bit of a beat. And isn't that more fun than explaining? It's more fun to write, too.

Hang in there, and keep on writing. It never gets easier, but you do become confused on a higher level.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/