Like him

No one made love to me like he did

No one gave me goosebumps

But not like the ones you see in the movies 

My goosebumps grew wings

I flew over everyone with such happiness

Jealousy overcame everyone

They knew why I was happy 

And it ate them all alive 

Yet I still smiled like a child on Christmas morning 

Receiving the one thing he had begged for since last year 

I walked with such grace 

Knowing I could count on someone to be there

Through the good and easy 

To the bad and hard

Also, through the dark and light

He is my sunrise in the morning

Creating a flame that shot through the sky

Waking everyone from their deep sleep 

He is also my sunset at night 

Changing colors but keeping the same purpose

Giving everyone the fate yet beautiful warning

Let night will fall soon

How can I love someone with such fire 

How can someone love me with much more 

I could take a guess but I know 

No one will love me like him

Reviews

[M.A.]

Ah.. this piece is a nice reprieve from all of the sad poems that i have read of late. I enjoyed reading this. I felt the love and passion you weaved in the words. The lines about the sunset spoke to me the most.
I am curious to know though about the like " Let night will fall soon" did you mean "Let night fall soon" if not i would like to know why you put the "will" in that line.
Thank you for sharing.

[JayG]

"I did this...I did that..."

Are you burning to know what I did, or how much I love my wife? Of course you aren't. So why believe the reader is burning to know how a fictional character felt about someone who doesn't exist?

You're telling, listing facts and events. Show the reader from the inside. make them FEEL what this person is feeling. Make them love this person and care.

Or, say it with such beauty and flair that the reader is moved to say, "If only I could express it that beautifully."

Move your reader, don't talk to them. Why? Because no matter how much emotion your pour into the telling the reader can't hear it. They can't see the glow of love as you recount the experience. So don't recount. Invite them in. Make them feel.

This isn't great poetry. I don't write great poetry. But it does show what I mean about trying to make the reader react, and become a participant.
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/2013/07/02/naked-b***h/

Hope this helps.

Jay Greenstein

[ReedWrite]

Beautiful poem. I have never loved, or been loved, like that. It was nice to glimpse it through your eyes. Thank you for posting this piece.

[XO Vee]

Thank you for enjoying it and your feedback :)