To love for a man

I take a deep breath

but i can't breathe

something is holding me down

i feel the tons of rocks accumulating

what have done to deserve such misery

then like an answer to my misery

the clouds clear up for me 

to see him coming beauty in a man

black hair, mixed with some silvers

broad shoulders and the touch of an angel

the weight has been lifted

the hate shifted

to love for a man

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I like this original approach to a love poem becuz of the way you describe how life is weighing down the narrator in the first stanza, then everything lightens up & turns bright in the second stanza, becuz of seeing one's special man. I like the unique details you use to describe both the oppression felt in stanza 1 (ton of rocks - nice analogy) and also the descriptions of the beloved in stanza 2 (black hair mixed with some silvers - original). This is the way to SHOW instead of TELL how the narrator is feeling.

[XO Vee]

Thank you so much; I have been trying to "use words to paint a picture" and I guess I tried to emphasize that in this poem THANK YOU so much for reading and your feedback is always amazing

[Barbara Walker]

There are angels among us who understand us, love us and help us to heal and they always appear when we need them most. Your words readily convey that in a very gentle way.

[XO Vee]

Thank you so much for reading, this poem I had written down a long time ago and just came across it again and thought I should share! thank you so much

[Jibey]

Sometimes one person can come along when our need is greatest to share the load... An angel indeed. A heartfelt composition.

[XO Vee]

Thank you so much

[ojhgfds]

I loved this, very innocent and I would
Love to imagine the touch of an angel.

[XO Vee]

thank you so much