To love for a man

To love for a man

A Poem by XO Vee

I take a deep breath
but i can't breathe
something is holding me down
i feel the tons of rocks accumulating
what have done to deserve such misery

then like an answer to my misery
the clouds clear up for me 
to see him coming beauty in a man
black hair, mixed with some silvers
broad shoulders and the touch of an angel
the weight has been lifted
the hate shifted
to love for a man

© 2016 XO Vee


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Featured Review

I like this original approach to a love poem becuz of the way you describe how life is weighing down the narrator in the first stanza, then everything lightens up & turns bright in the second stanza, becuz of seeing one's special man. I like the unique details you use to describe both the oppression felt in stanza 1 (ton of rocks - nice analogy) and also the descriptions of the beloved in stanza 2 (black hair mixed with some silvers - original). This is the way to SHOW instead of TELL how the narrator is feeling.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

XO Vee

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much; I have been trying to "use words to paint a picture" and I guess I tried to empha.. read more



Reviews

So beautiful! “To love for a man” I can relate to that all to well! Thanks for sharing!! Xoxo

Posted 7 Years Ago


I liked the journey to understanding and peace in the words. Hard to lose fear and hate. But we must. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 7 Years Ago


Hello Anonymous; NONY.

Such a lovely poem.

I noted a few items. Please understand, the following is merely suggestions. Use them or ignore them as you see fit, but do not take offense because none is meant.

"i feel the [a ton] of rocks [have accumulated]
what have [I] done to deserve such misery[?]"

"mixed with some silvers" *silvers of what?

The last line seems incomplete. Perhaps add a few words, so that it reads: "[all for] the love [of] a man?

Thank you for sharing!

Kind regards,

Schatzi



Posted 7 Years Ago


I like the approach. Finding someone special and that completes you is so uplifting. Loving some one can really take you out of misery.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Short and sweet poem. I liked the way you expressed what's holding you down in the first paragraph and then the second one describing a ray of hope to love for a man. To me this line "the weight has been lifted the hate shifted to love for a man" is full of positivity. Keep up the good work Nony.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

XO Vee

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much
Never was hit this hard before. Love came to me much more sweetly. Valentine

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

XO Vee

8 Years Ago

Thank you :)
Nice to see a man being appreciated. He could be superman flying in to lift those rocks off you.


Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

XO Vee

8 Years Ago

Thank you :)
Poems that make the reader see and feel, rather than think and visualize, are always best. There are true sorrows and triumphs in our lives, which others can learn and grow from. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

XO Vee

8 Years Ago

Thank you for reading and commenting
So in this poem you are saying that love for someone, or the touch of that angel can lift the weight and bring an end to misery. I like the thought and its execution in two sections. I like the description of the man. I loved reading this beautiful poem.
Really Nony, in love, it really happens. That particular person looks no less beautiful or handsome than the person of your description.So take my bow for this.
Sometimes it is the Angels lifting the weight and sometimes it is our love that brings the change.
Love has many shades. I am sure other shades also come up in your write.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful write. Keep sharing.........:-):-):-)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

XO Vee

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much your words inspire me and you break down all my pieces I don't even think of; I've.. read more
I like this original approach to a love poem becuz of the way you describe how life is weighing down the narrator in the first stanza, then everything lightens up & turns bright in the second stanza, becuz of seeing one's special man. I like the unique details you use to describe both the oppression felt in stanza 1 (ton of rocks - nice analogy) and also the descriptions of the beloved in stanza 2 (black hair mixed with some silvers - original). This is the way to SHOW instead of TELL how the narrator is feeling.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

XO Vee

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much; I have been trying to "use words to paint a picture" and I guess I tried to empha.. read more

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Added on October 21, 2016
Last Updated on October 21, 2016

Author

XO Vee
XO Vee

About
...Not to give too much, but to give just enough. simple, I'm a young woman who has things to say but have no idea how to say them, until you put a pen in my hand and an empty book in front of .. more..

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