A Love So Strong

   “A love.” She would say. “Fills my heart when I hear music.” I rolled my eyes at the cliché saying.

Everyone was in love with music. But why? 

I didn’t understand.

I would watch her play her instruments for hours. Her head bobbing as her spirit was lifted. Why was music such a big deal? 

I didn’t understand. 

I didn’t feel it

Until she was gone. 

   When my mother died, there was an unbearable pain they filled my heart sometimes. Even though it had been years since she left. Sometimes I swear if I close my eyes and listen hard enough…I could hear her playing. I could feel the rush she did when she plucked each string of her instrument. Her dying opened a part of my heart to a love that I could never explain. That I could never imagine. A love for music. 

   Though I could not play myself, just listening was enough. To me, it was one of  the world’s best creations. To me, music was a piece of something I didn’t have anymore. A mom. Oh how sometimes I missed her. I missed her badly, but I would close my eyes and listen to her play. I could feel my heart beat faster, my breathe hasten. I could feel each note, I swear! Each beat, each measure, each string, and instrument filled my soul to the brim. I could sit for hours, just like my mother, and listen. Just to feel happy. 

   I remember she would say, “One day you will hear it. One day you will feel it running in your veins.” She was right. I guess mother does know best. I let a tear slip from my eyes as I put in a cd of her playing. I try to push back the bulge in my throat that restricted me from full -out bawling. I closed my eyes and took in a breathe as the music welcomed me. It pulled me in. When I closed my eyes and listened I could see my mother. I could see how happy she was, and that made me happy. That made me smile.

   So do I take back not appreciating the music when she was still alive? Absolutely. But I can’t take it back. All I can do is listen, feel and reminisce. 

I didn’t understand.   

What she felt. What she heard. What made music so special. But now I do. My mother has opened up my heart and soul to something so magical and peaceful., so inspiring and uplifting. Something that everyone can understand. Something that could bring us all together. And that…

I did understand. 

Author's Note

I love music! :)

Reviews

[Joe]

This Is So Beautiful .... I Really Struggled Of Crying Hmmmm (sigh)
Such A Deep Poem Anita! You Made Me So Emotional Ahhh

Fav Lines:


"My mother has opened up my heart and soul to something so magical and peaceful" / Ahhh (sigh) You're Lucky ....

A Beauty Write For Sure Anita!
Greatly Enjoyed!

[Anita Harris]

Ah, Thank you so much. I didn't know this could make someone cry :O.
I thoroughly enjoyed your review!

très appréciée,
Anita :)

[Boyden Girl]

wonderful

[Distant horizons]

beautiful write and if it is autobiographical, a wonderful tribute too. If not, still a wonderful tribute to what Mom's imprint on us, but shame on you for ever doubting Mom knows best, lol.
Excellent write, thanks for sharing