Just Whatever

abusive relationship poem

I guess I can't tell you how much it hurts,
your words, your touch, your everday smile,
I guess you'll never know how much I hate you,
Guess it's so, my longing desire.

No sound can't bear your voice I hear,
the screaming, hurting, cutting edges.

I fear your touch, your sound of pain,
no wonder friends think I'm insane.

Find me, touch me one more time.
No words to describe your insanity...
I don't want to find.

I fear I might go to high extremes.
No sound can bear your awful screams.

Did I ever say, just whatever to you?
I have no proof, no way to say,
I hate you. I hate my living with you.

No one said I had to die.
That way, when they ask if I'm okay,
I can lie.

Friends wonder if I'm really here,
will I stay or die my dear?
Stay, find out what happens now.

Walk off the stage, no one clapped,
wait until the cords have snapped.
This hopeful death's delayed.

I guess I know that I could die,
that I could choose to end my life,
yet no one taught me how to lie,
no one taught me. Guess that's life.

I see it's gifted in me.
The tangled words, the throbbing sound.
To chains and stones, I'm locked and bound.

I can do just whatever comes to mind.
Close your eyes and tie the blind.

Just remember now, we're not entwined.
Death wish, I have read and signed.
So kiss my hand and say goodbye,
don't fear what's next, I might just lie.