Chapter Three: Blame It On September

Roe's POV

Everyone says it was an accident. They all say it had nothing to do with me and that it was actually a good that that I wasn't there when it happened. But I should have been there. I should have protected them or at least died trying.

Three years ago, I lived in a small town in New York.

Because of some construction issues and due to the hazards of it, the school board thought it would be better if they reopened school a bit late that year. Everyone was elated with the news. Our vacation was going to last for a few more weeks. What student wouldn't enjoy some extra R&R?

It was a cloudy Friday afternoon in September. There was that distinctive Autumn breeze making the world change into a new season with its colorful leaves but no one seemed to really care. We all still had summer tangled in our hair and were in no hurry to brush it out. It felt like the world was calling us to have more fun.

Brendan Koth took this perfect opportunity to call out of his famous Duntfield High School summer bashes. Everyone goes, No one dares to miss one of his parties (except for the burnouts, goths, nerds and other of such category - You know, the usual). My friends and I already made all the arrangements for what we'd wear to transport. It was suppose to be an awesome Saturday night. However what I hadn't factored in was my parents saying no because... well... They never say no.

So when I went to tell them I was going to the party, I didn't get the answer I was wanting.

Mom: No!

Roe: What? BUT WHY?! You've always let me go before!

Mom: That was before everyone at the last high school party, all the kids got arrested! I'm go glad that you didn't get to go since we were out of town.

Roe: Mom! I've been to the other parties and nothings happened before! And  this is BRENDON KOTH! He's not just some random guy throwing some random party! I HAVE to go! Or else I'll never be able to show my face at school again. I'll be cast as one of the rejects. Do you want that for your daughter?

Mom: What I want from my daughter is a clean record. And anyway, if your school wasn't closed, you would be going to school on Monday. You should be studying, not thinking about parties.

I couldn't believe her. Maybe I was being a brat but if she never wanted me to do these kinds of things, she should have said no to begin with rather then bring up my social status and then expecting me to bring it all down cause some idiot couldn't throw a party correctly. No way was I going to miss this. I don't care if she says no, I'm going anyway.

When the night of the party came, I told my friends to meet me at the bus stop which was quite a bit away from my house. They only reason my escape plan worked was because of the tree next to my window. I've climbed down it so many times, I know it better then the back of my hand. So even in the complete darkness I was able to quickly and safely get down without any trouble. Even my dress and hair remained perfect. Nothing was going to go wrong.

And it didn't. Not until we heard the cops. Everyone spazzed out. They were running all over the place. Some putting on pants, others trying to hide the beer, a couple even jumped out the second floor window and ran out the backyard! It was crazy~

But they didn't show up because of the party. They came to get me and only me. Why would they want me though? I hadn't done anything wrong! I didn't even have my drink yet! I was totally A-Okay! So, again for the second time that week I got an answer to my question that I had not been expecting. 

Officer: I'm not sure how I'm suppose to tell you this... but... um....

The burly man who seemed to be in his mid 50s looked tired and concerned. His giant white eyebrows were furrowed with despair. He looked at me with pitiful eyes.

Officer: Your... umm... your family has been... has been murdered... I'm really sorry to be the one to say this.

Murdered.

I started laughing.

Roe: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! What kind of SICK joke is that officer? HAHAHAHHA!

His face didn't show any sign of humor. Was he really serious?

I think I became hysterical at that point. I don't remember anything after that except that the cops took me away to my house... or was it to the station. It all just seems so blurry, what happened that night.

All I wanted was to go and have some fun with my friends before my summer break was over.  I just wanted to enjoy myself and stay in the in-crowed. But that night I realized that if you want something bad enough and you get it, there needs to be compensation. I didn't know that it would be the life I had. My parents and my brother. But that's just how life works. If only I'd known earlier.

The murderer was hired by some man my dad (who was a lawyer) was about to do a case against. Convicted of theft. And now murder. He was pledged guilty for both and sent to life in prison but that was petty compensation in my point of view to three lives.

Due to all the stuff that was going on, I had sort of lost myself. I failed Sophomore year. Everyone pitied me. I could tell my the looks they gave me. They all kept telling me they were sorry for my loss and that I'd get over it. Even the people whom I called my friends.  Then rumors started and well... everything got out of hand. I was suffocating from it all.

My sister who was already married and lived in a different state decided that I needed a fresh start took me in. She and her husband, Dávid, thought that it would be best to stay close to family after such an incident. They moved me half across the country from New York to Nevada.

What they didn't expect was for me to close myself up. While we were traveling I'd made myself a resolution and I locked my heart from the world. No one needed to know me or my story. I was fine being ignored. My body ached from all the stares I had been getting in that past  year.

I wanted to be alone. No more staring. No more pity. No more anything. I didn't need fake condolences. Not a single person knew how I felt. The guilt. If I had just stayed home that night, I could have defended them.

It hurts to remember. That damn September night. If only it never happened. But I guess I can't exactly blame it on September.

The world is such a cruel, cruel place and sadly, I am a part of it. That's why when I decided to embrace the silence, it wasn't that hard. Or well... not as hard as one might think. It felt wonderful actually. I didn't need anyone. I only had me and myself to think about. That alone made me feel safe. I could never leave myself unlike others who would leave me as soon as something goes wrong or they have no need for me.

Friends leave when times get hard.

Family abandons you when they think you should face life on your own.

People don't care enough to look and listen. Why should I regard myself with such a civilization?

Only I know what I'm going through. Only I can help myself. So, to me, this was the best decision I had ever made.

 

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Haha! So I finally made it up to chapter 3! I actually started this story a few years ago when I was in... I think 6th grade. But I only made like, 3 chapters and they weren't very good now that i look back at them. I pretty much changed the whole story line. But I kept the concept the same. Chapter 3 before was pretty much the second half of chapter 2 and even still it wasn't as descriptive as id made it now. and this back story didn't even exist. Her parents were originally suppose to die in a car crash but for some reason I didn't really appeal to that idea anymore.  A murder sounded so much more intersting to me. Sigh. How things change. :P

Anywho, I hope you enjoy my story:)