starving

inside the mind of a eating disorder

 

In my eyes, the mirror stares at a freak not a girl

A lost cause with no hope, a mistake who should die

 

 

In my eyes I see the beautiful people, thin and pretty

Tall and sweet, I wonder why I’m so alone

 

 

In my eyes they silently stare at me and whisper

That girl needs help, because I’m so ugly

 

 

In my soul I’m starving for the life I throw up

And the food in it too, I crave it ‘til it hurts

 

 

In my soul I smell the forbidden poison and

scream. I hear the ignorance eating it and cringe

 

 

In my soul 2 more pounds gained means 2 more meals skipped

Plus 2 more miles to run, and 2 close to losing control

 

 

In my life I can’t breath, my face turns blue and my eyes roll back yet,

my finger goes deeper into my throat and I finally choke up the poison

 

 

As the last of the acid scorches my throat the

Blood, air and satisfaction flood my face. I smile

 

 

In my life, the scale says 89... 90... 91

I step off in disappointment, 6 more pounds to go

 

 

In my life they yell, your f*****g up our lives

My brother whispers please don’t leave, My mom sobs your dieing

 

 

In my life, I feel helpless and I try to help them and me

By throwing up my worries, my sanity, my poison, and my life away

Author's Note

criticism would b nice :) i ask about it from other ppl and they says its good. I think its bc theyre being nice so tell me wat ya think

Reviews

[leelee]

thanx I'm glad you both thought it was powerful. Im kinda sad that people can easily relate to this tho, i agree that no one should ever have to feel like this. I hope it can make the people, that hate and call others fat, realize how badly it can make people feel when they hate. Thank you both again tho for reviewing this it means a lot :)

[LeeLee Ryder]

You've painted a powerful and insightful picture of the inner dialogue of
a trouble soul with a eating disorder. I can relate because many, many,
many years ago I had similar thoughts rumbling through my brain.
Overall, Starving is a solid piece that visually and emotionally expresses
your idea.. Good job, leelee!
LLR

[LisetteCanWrite!]

This is sad... but powerful.. that a person should have to look in the mirror and think they are ugly or fat. True beauty comes from within and what we do for the world to be a better person.. I have felt that stigma of looking in the mirror and not seeing myself fat but the other... because as a child I was told I was not goodlooking and some even used the word ugly.. I was told to get an education as I would probably not find a man to marry one day.. this sounds horrible but 100% true.. for years I could not look at my childhood pictures cause I seen ugly.. I know how you feel and please if you have this eating disorder .. get help!!! Everyone is beautiful.. where it matters!!!

[E-man]

wow strong words i can totally relate tho im not that skinny thats really sad and powerful