Prolouge

The war begins!

War of Four: Foolish Dreams

Prologue 

Once there was a great war. Brother turned against brother as every nation fought to survive. Some cheated, some fought with honor, and others ran. In the end, every nation fell.

After the dust settled, the people started rebuilding. They quickly realized things would never be the same. New creatures walked the earth, and trust was very rare. To survive they would need leaders from all creatures to lead them back into glory.

The angels chose a young angel for their ambassador and leader by the name of Olivia. Many thought this was a shaky decision. She was young, intelligent, but resentful.

From the demons came the Prince of Demons himself, Holden. It made since, why not have demon royalty to represent and lead them? Lucifer was far too old and far to busy to rule the demons on earth, so his son took his place.

The cyberrace chose Matthew, the most intelligent engineer on known to man. But even though he was powerful and skilled, he was power hungry.

The humans chose Mother Nature’s daughter, Kathryn. Mother Nature toke care of the world, and her daughter was to help rule it. Kathryn had her share of problems too, though. She was hot-headed and immature because of her youth.

The four leaders gathered to have a meeting. People wanted to know the right direction for the world. Right away they started arguing and screaming at each other.

Kathryn fumed, “We should give over to nature! Do you fools not see that is the only way to recover?” She darted a dainty finger at Matthew. “His kind, the industrialists, started this whole mess with their thirst for resources!”

“Don’t you point fingers at me, princess.” Matthew glared. “At least I keep my head for two seconds.”

Olivia attempted to calm them. “Why are we going back into darkness? Maybe we should let the world go back into natural order. It seems that you guys have too low intelligence to think of that.” she said, professionally composed and cold.

Holden made his move. “Stuck up fools, don’t you know I  will dominate you all no matter what? Just give up now.” he cockily sneered.

Screams erupted from every leader. The hatred grew so much that, with a powerful blast, the four arrogant leaders were blown into four sectors of the world. With them came their people, armies, and possessions. Now each one would build their empire as they saw fit, attempting to bring the world back to glory.

For now, they left each other alone.

Everyone knew the peace couldn’t last....

Author's Note

If you like it, look for Chapter 1 coming soon ;D

This is the polished/finished version of this. Feel free to say whatever is on your mind!

Reviews

[Cedric D. Jr.]

What you have written has potential. This can serve as the kernel to a great idea. The creativity represented here is excellent, but in the last three lines, I think you're suppressing your own imagination; rather, I think that's what will happen if you continue. You choose to take the elemental approach, which is so common in Fantasy that I honestly believe it is becoming cliche. This isn't to say that people aren't still coming up with great ways to reinvent it, but it is getting harder and harder to capture people's attention with that without some sort of unique spin on it. When you consider that most American superheroes base their powers on some sort of element or that stories like those of Naruto, Avatar, Fairy Tail, and a plethora of others have all taken the elemental idea and run rampant with it, I think that you need a very unique and creative angle to even approach it now; it's simply too cliche.

That being said, everything prior to the last paragraph wherein you make the elemental distinctions was excellent and holds loads of potential. It would be far more interesting, perhaps brilliant, if you found a way to create a story by expounding on the top bulk of this draft. The intriguing parts of this prologue that actually inspire my own creative side are the four main characters you introduce as leaders, the positions they hold on earth, and the idea that they each represent sides of a world that is trying to put itself back together.

I see a post-apocalyptic Fantasy here, and it could very well be awesome. A war of epic proportions (for which you'll need an epic name) has torn the earth's inhabitants into four alignments represented by the four ambassadors you named. They were all extremely appealing before you watered them down into the cliche elemental formula, and you should run in a new direction with the first half of your ideas. The elements have been done to death, but pitting characters as enticingly unique as a literal angel from Heaven, a demon warlord, Mother Nature's daughter especially, and an ingenious representative of the machines is an excellent idea; moreover, I want to suggest, perhaps, referring to them as machines and other synonyms (androids, cyborgs, automatons, etc.) while avoiding the term "robots" because that word is somewhat of a turn-off. Robots are cliche much like the whole element formula, so calling them something else will hold readers' interest rather than dissuade them from reading further. I might also suggest working Father Time or an ambassador thereof into the story in some way, though that depends on whether or not you manage to figure out a creative way in which to do so; it'll take some brainstorming, but you've proven to be creative. If you like, you could always message me to brainstorm some ideas, and it also help to read other people's work for inspiration.

Think outside the box, and you can definitely make lemonade with these lemons.

[MidnightWolf11]

Thanks for your review! The reason for the odd water-down was I was trying to keep it "canon" as possible. This idea was originally a playground game I played with my friends Kathyrn, Matthew, and Holden, each of them being their respective leader. Before the summer began and I started writing this piece I was SMOTHERED by all the references they insisted were made (like Kathryn's insisting on being called a water-bender). Now that me and my companions are no longer together I can go wherever I want with this story and look forward to new horizons. Again, thanks for the review! :)