Life can be hard. The light will come to us sooner or later. The poem told a sad story. Many people hide wounds and scars. We must overcome them. Sometime they are like mountain of burden to defeat. Sometime we need friends and family to support us. A outstanding poem. You said so much in so few words.
Coyote
The flow works really well and I agree with Paperhearts it reads like a song. At first it seems light hearted and then it dives into something so much more deeper then the light which caught me by surprise. However, I like the ending since there seems to be hope there and the desire to admit something you are hiding. Nicely done.
Great write! For something that was inspired by a song, this piece almost read like a song too! I liked how short and sharp your lines were, yet how much emotion was behind each and every single word. I thought that you did really well in capturing the essence of the 'dark light'. :)
~PaperHearts
i liked it flowd nicely and rhymed and the last night clean the night i dont know it bothered me didnt catch the meaning i feel itd work to change clean to cleanse or clear even
FREE HUGS CAMPAIGN.....PLEASE WATCH THIS? :]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
live like your dying.
everyone needs a hug sometimes.
g.. more..