Just One More Time

Darling, we had it all.
the sky
the stars
and more.
you were so perfect,
so good to me.
you told me you loved me, and i trusted you.

i remember it like it was yesterday

( ( [ i wish it was yesterday ] ) )

i remember your love.... ♥

how could you hurt me?
i hate missing you.

you were so special,
i remember when this pen could only write your name
and now, all it writes are words of
                          l
                           o   
                             n
                               e
                                 l
                                   i 
                                    n
                                      e
                                        s
                                          s.
                p
              a
             i
           n.                 
 
                            m
                             i
                             s
                             e
                             r
                             y. 


i just want your arms around me
just one more time.
just tell me you love me
so i can smile,

*just one more time*

Author's Note

this is the first time i ever used different fonts and stuff like that, so tell me what ya think???

Reviews

[Lost, n'MT]

First off, regarding the first time you using different fonts and etc. is amazingly innovative. I really enjoyed that a lot and feels it really adds a lot to this piece. This poem is excellent written and expressed so well that I feel almost all of us (I know definitely can more than anything) relate to these feelings all too well. I also like your choice of the title for this piece as well, as so many of us wish "just one more time". Such a wonderful write, I thank you for sharing and look forward to reading more of your writing. --Broken Soul

[Stephen Scaggs]

Dear Victoria,

This is a very well written poem. The text arrangement is very experimental and is very risky as it often doesn't come out like it's supposed to. "Just One More Time" reminds me of Daft Punk's One More Time. XD Except it's not. This seems more like prose than poetry to me, it's too lyrical to be poetry.

Aside from the experimental text arrangements and fonts, I think you need to watch out for grammatical errors. Capitalize the letter I and insert commas where they are needed. Don't get me wrong, it's very well written. It's just you need to make sure to capitalize the beginning of sentences and end them with periods. When you have "Loneliness," "Pain," and "Misery" cascading down, capitalize the first letter of them, too. If you want me to "proofread it for you, just give me a message.

Good job experimenting. Keep writing ^_^ 9.2/10.

A Fellow Writer,
S. W. Scaggs

[Skull]

interesting all together. I liked it

[Hollywood]

The fonts are very interesting, it makes the poem more unique. I fell inlove with this poem by the way. It is heart wrenching, I started to tear up because it's so relatable to me & probably several other people. It's well written, job well done.

[Theresa]

I really enjoyed this and know exactly how you feel. The lines:
"i remember when this pen could only write your name
and now, all it writes are words of ...."
I love that. I can't explain it better then that but I love those lines. I loved the format I think it gives emphasis where necessary. Nicely done. A truly great piece.

[<3beneathstars;]

personally i think it rocks.
my favorite part:
i remember it like it was yesterday

( ( [ i wish it was yesterday ] ) )

[PaperHearts]

I liked this a lot! Visually, this poem was fantastic! The different fonts worked really well, and I thought that it was a unique and creative idea. Your poem had a kind of effortless flow to it, which made it a natural and easy read. The subject that you wrote about is something that I think a lot of us can relate to, and you expressed these emotions really well. Great write! :D
~PaperHearts

[Ian]

I like this i wonder what it would sound if you had sang it
other than that this a good poem.

[Jennika has a short att..]

I think it was good and the way you wrote loneliness, pain, and misery kinda reminded me of ellen hopkin's poetry. Good job.

[MattWheatus]

Very touching. I like the use of subtext, to show the backround thought - that was a clever touch and made me feel more involved as a reader.
( ( [ i wish it was yesterday ] ) )
The text/font styling worked with the flow too - excellent poem.