He loves me.

I’m lost and I’m scared. I don’t know what to do. I’m alone in this world. No one to be there for me. No one to hold. The one I love with all my heart is almost too far to bare. I’ll tell him I love him, and he’ll say it back, and at first I didn’t believe him. “Why would someone so sweet, loving, and kind, love me?” I’d sit in my room and think. It’s all so very clear to me now. He loves me for who I am. It doesn’t matter what I look like to him. He’s helped me through so much in such a small amount of time. He makes me feel loved and needed in this empty world of mine. Right now, all I want to do is be there, so warm, in his arms. If I’m crying, he knows just what to say to make me smile. If I start freaking out, he knows how to calm me down. When he calls me, I’m hypnotized by the sound of his voice, even though when we don’t say much on the phone. I don’t care if it’s a silent conversation. It makes me feel secure knowing that he’s there makes me feel closer to him. I wish he was with me now, but I know that can’t happen. If he was here though, I wouldn’t ever want to leave him. Yes. He’s slightly older than me, but when it comes to love, nothing matters but the one you love. As I sit in this crowded class room writing this note, I can’t get his voice out of my head. He’s always there for me through the good and the bad. He even stayed on the phone with me for nearly an hour as I walked home with my mangled bike. Even when I home, I laid on the hill in my backyard, talking to him till my phone died. I found out the other night how much he really cared about me, and now I know why he loves me so much, and it frustrates me that it took me so long to figure this out. I guess I was just too scared to understand. He reminds me of my ex so much that I started to deny his love for me. Now I know how he truly feels about me, and I’m starting to see how foolish I was to deny his love. He’s the only person who can stop me when I want to commit suicide. I love him so much I hope he knows that I mean it too. I just want to rest my head on his chest, and listen to his to his heart. The sound of it beating rhythmically in my ear is my lullaby. He tells me that I’m his little angel, but I’m not an angel. If anything, I’m a fallen angel with broken wings damned to this hell on Earth.