I Will Carry You Forever

I will never have your heart, so give me all the rest.

He handed it to me
And whispered,
"Show this to no one.
Keep it as mine and mine alone."

...

I will carry it forever
I will carry your secret
Your soul
Yourself

I will keep it forever
Forever as yours
And I will love it
As mine.

Give to me
Another secret
Confide in me
Another tale

I will carry you forever
My rugged soul
Can bear all of you
All of your heavy confessions

Expose yourself to me
I will carry all your secrets
All your burdens
All your troubles

Give me something to hold
When I sleep forever
All that you have
Will journey with me to the grave

I will carry you with me
All your dreams
All your nightmares
All of you

...

And if I never carry your heart
If it is never in my hands
May you treat mine
With all your care

My heart in your hands
And in that heart
I will love you
I will carry you

A weightless burden
The power to fly
To the clouds, to the end,
I will carry you forever.

Author's Note

Just tell me what you think, please. Don't just give me compliments, give me advice.

Reviews

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

I thought the breaks between stanzas, especially at the end, were a little strange. This is a neat idea and well-written, but it would be less choppy if you would combine some of your lines. For instance, "With all / Your care." That's just my opinion, though--I'm definitely no poetry expert.

[nevermindfan1991]

I call myself a romantic, I could never write like this at all to the one I love. I now you want advice, but I don't know what else to say. This is a job well done, maybe shorten it, but it's up to you. Good job!

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

This revision is amazing! I think it's much more clear and well-formatted. The flow is better, too. I really liked this ending!