Chapter 1.

I could hear nothing but the slight snore of him next to me and wind gusts hitting against the window. Its very late and I know I should be sleeping, but he leaves tomorrow; another fifteen-month deployment to the middle of nowhere. I knew falling head over heals in love with a Marine was going to be hard; I knew what I was getting myself into. That is until it all began to happen. The waiting, the need to hear their voice, not knowing if they’re okay: its extremely stressful. But then there is that split second when you see that dark blue coat matching dark blue pants walking straight towards you. None of the stress matters anymore. The only thing you can possibly think about is running to that one person you’ve been missing more than words can describe, and holding them. That’s my favorite part.

            I’m very young, you see. Okay, not that young, but I know what I want in life. And that is the man lying next to me right now; Sergeant Andrew Winter. But I call him Drew. No one else in the world ever thought of that nickname, which is probably why he was so surprised when I called him it for the first time. Ill never forget that look of surprise. It was different and beautiful.

            He’s a beautiful man; tall, well built, brown shaved hair, sparkling blue eyes. The eyes that made me weak at the knees the moment I saw them.

            “hmm…” Drew rolled over and subconsciously wrapped his arm around in his sleep. I knew he didn’t want to go back as much I didn’t want to see him leave. Being a Marine, he has learned to never show emotion; to just do as you are told and move on. But I know him better. I know he lays awake on those uncomfortable cots, in the middle of the desert, and wonders about me as much as I wonder about him.

            I could feel myself drifting into a slow and deep unconsciousness and before I knew it, I was out cold, laying next to be man I loved more than life itself; perfect.

           

            “Looking handsome, as ever,” I said to him, standing in the doorway of our bedroom. He was dressed in full uniform, ready to take on the world. He turned and winked at me.

            “What are you all dressed up for?” I suppose he noticed I was wearing his favorite outfit of mine; my “tight around the behind” jeans, a black blouse, and my hair curled. I just giggled and rolled my eyes at him. This was his form of “dressed up.”

            “Well, I want you to remember me this way.” I shrug. The corners of his lips turn up into a seductive smile as he makes his way across our bedroom to me and I know exactly what he has in mind. I never kept this outfit on for long when I wore it.

            “No, you’re trying to torture me. And it is working wonders,” he whispered on my neck, as he wove his arms around my waist. I felt his warm breath trickle down my spine and I knew I had to put an end to this before it got out of either our control.

            “Stop that!” I snapped playfully. I giggled up at him, as I locked my arms around his neck. Starring into each others eyes, I knew just how much I loved him. As cliché as it sounds, I was the lock and he was the key that fit perfectly. Yeah, I know I am only 19, but I know right now; this is the one I am spending my life with.

            Curling a strand of my dark brown hair around his finger, he whispered down at me, “You know that I love you, right?” I nodded in agreement and simply pressed my head against his chest. His heart was beating a slow, calm rhythm compared to mine. My heart was beating a mile a minute, not knowing what was coming in the future; whether he was coming home or if he found some silly girl on the airplane. It all worried me.

            I felt his warm, soft lips on the middle of my forehead and for just a moment, I was standing in my own personal bliss. But that bliss was abruptly broken when he realized how late it was.

            “S**t! We gotta go, Colleen…I’m gunna miss my flight.”

            Before I could protest, he was out of my grip and rushing to pack the last of the essentials. I stood where I was, trying not to absolutely lose my cool and beg him to stay.

            Well, here we go. Another 15 months of waiting, worrying, and stressing. Bring it on.

            “Well, you can’t see me off the plane from inside our apartment, lovey,” he called across the foyer. I simply smiled and walked to him, twining our fingers together reassuringly.

            We made our way down the stairs and into his “Heavy Duty” pick up truck. He drove this beast like a natural. Me on the other hand…

            So lost in my thoughts, I didn’t even realize we were already on our way, driving down the highway. Our fingers still twined, I looked up at him.

            “Are you scared?” I blurted out. I knew he was, but I also knew he would never admit to it to anyone…except me.

            “Scared of war or scared of dying?” he didn’t look at me when he said this. I knew he was picking his answer very carefully.

            “Well, both I suppose.”

            He didn’t answer for a moment. Without warning, he said, “I am more scared of finding you in love with another man, than fighting any war, love.” He finally looked at me and I knew that was what he was worrying about. It seemed silly to me that I worry about him being brutally and unmercifully murdered by a random and all he worries about is coming home to find me in bed with another man. Like that would ever happen.

            “You honestly think I would betray you like that, Andrew?”

            Yes I used his full name. I do that to get my point across. It works for the most part.

            “Of course I don’t. But maybe one day you will get lonely and I wont be there and…” I was giving him a shocked look and he cut off there.

            “I’m sorry. I know you won’t. A man can worry, can’t he?” he flashed an apologetic look and I sighed and rolled my eyes in response. What on God’s green earth makes him think there is someone out there better than him? I just couldn’t see myself sitting next to a man who was not my dear Andrew. Andrew and I met at a very young age. I was 12 and he was going on 14. It was silly really, thinking I was so in love at such a young age. Although, I have come to realize what I felt for him as a young child only blossomed into something more passionate, more intense, and more physical. The list could go on and on. Long story short, my young puppy love turned into a deep passionate need for him. He was everything.

            Seeing low flying airplanes overhead made me realize my worst nightmare was only minutes away. I am forever grateful that this is the last deployment, but also the longest. But that does not matter. I promised him I would right here, waiting for him to come home. And who knows, maybe even start a family, like we have always dreamed about.

            Drew puts the truck in park and takes a long and exaggerated deep breath. “Well, here goes nothing.” He turns and looks right into my eyes. “Do promise me you will keep yourself healthy and well?” he says this every time he leaves. “he worries about my well being” and “needs a strong women to come home to.” I am sure you can use your imagination as to what that means.

            I smile and nod. “Fruits, vegetables, and three cups of milk everyday.” I solute; mocking him.

            “Colleen, I am serious. Please keep yourself safe. I have made a few phone calls and Chase has agreed to come and see how you are doing every so often. I hope that is okay?”

            Chase Winter is Drew’s older brother. Andrew was lucky enough to grow up with a brother who not only mocked him about the girls he dated and the dorky clothes he wore, but who also helped morph him into the amazing man he is today. Chase was gave him a good beating now and then, but when it came to anyone else hurting him, it was Chase to the rescue. He was the best brother and I am extremely grateful for him.

            I nod once more. “That’s fine. But he won’t find anything interesting. Maybe he will walking in one day when I am actually studying instead of procrastinating,” I tease. Drew just smiles and slowly moves his hand to my cheek, stroking my bottom lip with his thumb. “My babygirl…” he murmurs to himself. I do not dare say a word and interrupt his train of thought.

            “I will write you as much as I can. I promise. But be patient, you know how it is.” I smile and without any control left, I let one tear slip. He swipes it away with his thumb and pulls me out of the truck. His arms enclose around me and we hold each other in silence for what feels like forever. With a sharp sigh, he lets go and fishes out his bags from the bed of the truck.

            “Ready?” I do not answer and just offer my hand and we walk in, in silence. There are over 70 men, all in the same dark blue uniform, waiting for the same air bus to take them away. Some are hugging their little girls, others just waiting alone. I often wonder about these men; what compelled them to fight this war, who they are leaving behind, and if any of them are going to make it home to their families.

            “Now boarding Flight 35, good luck, Soldiers.” I watch the stewardess wave off the boys and thank them one by one as they enter the plane.

            I look up at Drew as he is stiffening himself straight up.

            “Good Luck, Sarg.” I smile up at him and he beams down at me.

            “I love you, babe. Always…”

            “And forever,” I finish. With just one more sweet kiss on the lips, he walking toward to plane. He turns and winks at me. Smiling, I wave. The door closes and it begins; 15 months of agony. I wait around longer than any other of them men’s family, for the sole reason that I can not find the will to move. The whole in my chest is starting to grow and I can feel the loneliness already starting to pull me under. I am snapped out of thoughts once more by the annoying, old fashioned phone ring tone I set my cellular phone to. Yanking it out of my pocket, the caller ID says, “Kara.”

            I smile slightly and answer on the third ring.

            “Hello?”

            “Hey you. Are you okay? Has he left yet? Do you need brownies?” she giggles on the other end.

            Kara McDaniel is my absolute best friend in this whole wide world. We met in highschool, freshman year. Some s****y cheerleaders were saying some nasty things to me, things I did not care to listen to. I suppose she thought this was cruel behavior so she does what Kara does best; she protected me with a sweet, “Shut the eff up before I punch you so hard in the mouth, your lips swell shut. Yeah, that lip gloss won’t look to hot anymore. B*****s.” She is quite the charmer when she wants to be. And that is where it all began. The late nights, crying on the phone, the sleepovers, the arguments, the protection; she was my soulmate. And I loved her.

            “Uhm…yeah, I am okay. He left…” I checked my watch and realized he had been gone for an hour and a half already, “a while ago.” I laugh nervously. “And yes, brownies sound perfect. Let me just drop off the boat,” as I called the truck, “and I will be right over. Sound good?”

            “Yay! See you soon!” she hung up before I could say anything.

            I picked up my bag, took one more glance at the doorway I had last seen Andrew at and I was off.

 

Author's Note

lots of mistakes. deal lol