Star Struck

Gazing at the sky

Stars shining bright

Hand in hand we walk

On this beautiful night

 

Nowhere to go

Nothing to do

Living for the moment

Just me and you

 

A shooting star

Rips across the sky

I start to make a wish

As your lips meet mine

 

What else could I want?

Other than you by my side

You’re the only reason

I want to be alive

 

I don’t know what I’d do

If I didn’t have you

No way I could survive

We’ll never know if its true

I’ve always believed

True love never dies

Everytime I see you I feel it

I wish I never had to shut my eyes

Reviews

[Christina]

You capture the essence of what it means to be in love with such honest and simple words. Your style of writing is very candid and real, it does not complicate the meaning. I enjoyed the imagery in this piece especially the stanza,

"A shooting star
Rips across the sky
I start to make a wish
As your lips meet mine"

I also enjoyed the line "We'll never know if its true". Often times, we love someone without knowing if this love will end up ruining us in the end. I felt this poem expressed this concept in a very beautiful way. Very well penned, I thank you for sharing.

[SarahCortland]

love love love it soooo good :) great rhyming scheme

[Madame Mystique]

awwww this poem made me melt ^_^ thanks for sharing

[Eyeliner Rebel Boy]

I thought the way that this poem was written I was quite certain that it would end happy, but I like the complete feeling shift towards the last few lines. I like your use of imagery, looking forward to some new posts from you.

[Elizabeth]

I loved this. I love that it rhymes. I disagree with the other comment about it being cheesy... the mood and cadence are appropriate.

My favorite part:
"A shooting star

Rips across the sky

I start to make a wish

As your lips meet mine"

Adorable. And I feel like I can see the two of you walking out under the stars.
Good work.

[Sarah]

This poem was cute...a little corny, but I suppose happy, romantic poems tend to naturally be sorta cheesy. xD Regardless, I liked reading this. I would recommend trying to write without rhyme next time, since it sounded a little forced. Otherwise, good job. =)

[Legion]

I hope you let that other person read this. ;)

[Manda]

awww this was awesome! i really did love this! you did a great job writing this! keep it up!