Remember Me

Will I be remembered

When I am gone

For what I have done

Or where I have gone

 

Will I be a thought

That you long to keep

Someone that you loved

With thoughts oh so deep

 

Ponder if you must

Thoughts of yonder year

Remember the good times

Don't let them disappear

 

Who's not to say

They will always remain

Sometimes it's love

That keeps a person sane

 

So think long and hard

What you will say

When I ask you the question

Will you remember me today

Reviews

[AleyshaRosa]

Who's not to say
They will always remain
Sometimes it's love
That keeps a person sane ----> love that. It's always said/read that love will drive you mad, but finally you've showed us the opposite of such a ridiculous idea.
When it's one of your dimmest days and all you can think to do is cry over your loss... Remembering all positive in your loss is sometimes the only cure for pain. Makes me think of this phrase

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

Koodoos =]

[MagiCrystal]

This is an amazing poem full of love and memories...Never say good bye.. never..Life goes on.. here and in eternity...I love the flow.. your style and most of all.. your soul

[QuietPoet]

This was amazing. I loved this. And I am sure you will be remembered. Keep writing and expressing yourself. Nicely done.

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

I love the feeling and thoughtfulness that went into this poem. it seems so simple but the more and more I read it, the more I get from it. I have read it several times and I just love. The words you use are elegant and understandable which, together, make the use of your language very beautiful. Even the subject matter is soft and delicate in its own way that I feel like this poem, if read outloud, would have to be whispered. You did a great job.

I do have a few suggestions..you can take them or leave them as you please, but they are here none the less:

"With thoughts oh so deep" --- When I read 'oh so', it really threw me off. It doesn't seem to fit in well with
the rest of the poem and is a bit discrating. Maybe you could find something
else that would get your point across but with the use of different words.

"They will always remain" --- Does this mean that your speaker if not included in that he will not always
remain like them? If your speaker will always remain like the rest then you could
use 'we' instead of them. I was just curious as to why your speaker did not
included himself/herself in this line.

"Who's not to say
They will always remain
Sometimes it's love
That keeps a person sane" --- What I got from this stanza was that the 'they' would always remain because
thier love is keeping them sane enough to always remain. If this is not what
you intended for this stanza, then you might want to think about adding
something after the second line to help connect the first half with the
second half better.

"When I ask you the question
Will you remember me today" --- This is such a powerful part of the poem. I really like the way that you
emphasized here. I don't think that the 'today' fits in well with the rest of
the poem. Why would someone want to be remembered only for one day?
Also, you keep changing from 'you' to 'they' and then back to 'you', so I am
a little confused as to who this speaker is actually speaking to.

"When I am gone
For what I have done
Or where I have gone" --- I know you were trying to go with a rhyme scheme at this point, but the use
of 'gone' twice is a little too much. Maybe you could switch it out with something
else?

"Ponder if you must
Thoughts of yonder year
Remember the good times
Don't let them disappear" --- I think this is the most powerful stanza out of the poem. It really hits on the
head what it is that you are trying to get across. I really love the last line as
well. I don't know why but this seems to be the summary, in a way, of just
what your poem is about.

I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing.
Keep writing.

=YourMidnightSecret=

[Bethany Woody]

This reminds me of that Linkin Park song, dang can't think of the name now. But they talk only remembering the good stuff of a persons life. Anyway.
I love this. It's very smoothly writen but kinda raw like you really have to ask the question, but you are not sure you want to know the answer, but only because you are worried about what that answer might be. My favorite part is the last stanza. It really hits a person where it counts.

Beth

Leave Out All The Rest---I knew I would remember it! ;)

[Lady V]

Always and forever as a poet. Great piece.

Live, Love and Learn

Lady V

[Seriana]

Oh Brandon, this has to be your best yet!! I love it. It's going in my favs :) Nicely done. So smooth and fluid.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Now this is one I wish I had written. Wonderful!