Not My Time

Not My Time

A Poem by Brandon

 

I am feeling different

Not of the norm

My body is trembling

In the midst of the storm

 

I’ve lost control

My head starts to pound

My body goes limp

I collapse to the ground

 

Thoughts and memories

Flash in front of my eyes

I try to catch them

As my body starts to die

 

Somebody help me

I’m only in my prime

Please….can anyone help

It’s not my time

© 2008 Brandon


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"Thoughts and memories

Flash in front of my eyes

I try to catch them

As my body starts to die



Somebody help me

I'm only in my prime

Please�.can anyone help

It's not my time"


WOW! This is powerful and full of intense emotion! Very much to the point.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AWESOME!!! Write, short and well said and it flows down the page, well written.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Your stanzas are short, sweet and to the point. Very good rhyme and flow. For a newbie you're pretty darn good! Keep writing, never give it up. I like this.

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

This sounds like an overdose.

Sad and realistic and all too common...

I give you an A(it'd be an A+ but i am just a bit stingy with my +es:P)

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

wow, intense, like this one the most, ---mishel

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Great job! This flowed very nicely & used some intense language, particularly in the first stanza - I loved the word "storm" to reflect the chaos that you're feeling as you die, particularly when you know that you're not supposed to. Scary. Great read! :)

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Awesome form and flow~ ths is a deep thoughtful poem... Great write!

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

This was a very sad read for me. I have lost several students in the past few years and each loss feels this way - before its time.

I also think, however, on the fact that most of us will never really be ready to go.

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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8 Reviews
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Added on May 21, 2008

Author

Brandon
Brandon

Phoenix, AZ



About
Well to start off, I just started writing a little while back. I just decided to write one day out of pure boredom. Well I ended up writing 2 poems that day, and I got a very good response from them. .. more..

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