Luke's introduction

Luke’s introduction:

 

 

“No! no please don’t do this! You don’t understand I.. I have a wife and and a child! Please!”

He begged, tears streaming down his cheeks. He held him gently in his arms, bridal style, as not to hurt him, He was tall, and skinny but with a lean composure. He had curly black hair that fell over his forehead, and hung just above his baby blue almost grey eyes.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to kill you” He reassured him as he stood up, and headed for the window. The man in his arms pulled at him, and beat against him wielding him to release him. The man in his arms was short for a male, about 5’ 6’’ and had short hair that was such a light blonde it almost appeared white in the moonlight. He screamed, and kicked but to no success; he couldn’t make the man holding him budge.

“I’m not going to kill you Kyle, because I need you.” He said stepping off the ledge of the window. Kyle gripped the man’s shirt and held on for his life as they fell. Kyle’s screams filled the air then they hit the ground with a thud.

“How did you? That’s not possible! What are you?” Kyle stuttered starring up at the tower twenty feet above them. The tower was tall, and skinny and descends from a large castle of a house.

“What am I? I’m not even sure… but I am sure that you can find the answer to that question.” He said. Kyle stared at him with wide eyes, and mouth gaping open.

“Luke? Is it you?” Kyle asked with his eyes still wide and glued to the face of the man that held him.

“Luke? My name is Luke?” He asked. A look of confusion turned his boyish face into one that of a man. He set Kyle down but still had a firm hold on one of his arms so he couldn’t escape.

“Luke what’s happened to you?” He asked. Then it dawned on him. The accident! Luke was in the accident…The accident that was partly Kyle’s fault.

Reviews

[samurai212]

great work

Whoa..
Super intense and kept me on the edge.
This wasn't boring whatsoever, just so you know.
Keep up the good work! :D

[Adam :P]

that kept me into it. usualy i read and get bored and don't finish but i read that whole thing very good!

[PaperHearts]

Wow! This was such an intriguing first chapter! You posed so many different questions, which left me feeling both confused and captivated. I thought that the suspense that you created in this chapter was incredible, and that it would definitely be to your advantage to maintain that intensity and suspense as the story continues. There were a few errors in terms of grammar/spelling/tense, but nothing that a bit of proof reading can't fix. :) Nice work,
~PaperHearts

[Cassandra D.]

Okay, you've reeled me in. But it does need some description though, like where they are and what exactly they're doing. But like i said before, you lured me in.

[Jonathan De Elvira]

I agree with previous comment? What is going on? still interesting though...hurry and read request me more...Urm, wait, before I done my review I have a question, so Luke's supposed to be dead isn't he?

[nighttimesnoozer]

hmmmmmm ? accident!! he needs kyle?? whast going on