1. Rainy Day

It was the middle of September, yet it didn't feel like Autumn. The weather kept changing rapidly. One day it's cold, the next - it's hot again. At first I didn't mind, I liked these little reminders of what Summer was like, but after a while it got annoying. Just like Catherine. God, I wish she would just stop bugging me about Us. We started dating a little over half a year ago. Back then, I used to think she was sweet, but over time, she changed. A lot. And our relationship right now... Well, it's more than confusing. A little bit of a wreck she's trying to salvage.

"Hey, were you listening?" Amy waved her hand in front of my face. "Eric? Earth to Eric? The bell rang, class is over."

"Oh, what? S**t, sorry. What were you saying?" Amy rolled her eyes.

"I asked if you'd be nice enough to hook me up with your new friend." Her eyes suddenly lit up with excitement as Thomas passed through us to exit the room. "Oh God, he's so hot." she mumbled.

"What am I, Cupid? Talk to him. He's... uh, friendly? He won't turn you down, that's for sure." She glared at me as if she knew I was hiding something. If even a little bit she doubts my words, she wouldn't be wrong. There's no way I can tell her. It's a secret between me and Thomas, and yet perhaps eventually I'll have to. If they hook up, I'll have to tell the truth. My phone started buzzing. It was Catherine. "Listen, Catherine's calling. I have to pick up. It's important." I sighed as I stood up to leave.

" Are you two still?.." She cautiously asked me.

"I don't know. She's trying to mend what we used to be." Amy looked up at me with a sad smile.

"How come you're not trying as well?"

I didn't answer. I left the classroom quickly. Amy's question planted a seed of guilt inside. I didn't know why I was being so distant. Amy was right, I used to love her. Used to. I just don't know what changed. In me and in her. My phone was still ringing, yet I didn't have any desire to talk to her. I don't know why I told Amy it was important, it probably isn't. I can't ignore Catherine though, she's bound to find me sooner or later before all my classes end. I walked into one of the more quieter halls and picked up the phone.

"Eric! I didn't think you'd pick up! I'm happy you did, though." I could sense a little bit of guilt in her voice as if she was blaming herself for doubting me. I wish she didn't feel guilty over that. In all honesty, I was ready to dodge her calls. I'll never let her know, though.

"What's up, Catherine? It's err...unusual for you to call this early."

"Can you be honest with me?" Her voice was serious. My heart stopped for a second. Did she catch on I didn't want to talk to her?

"When am I not?" I forced a little laughter out of myself. Why am I hiding my feelings from her?

"Do you still like me? It's just-"

"Yes." I lied, surprising even myself and cutting her off. Why am I leading her on, when we could have finally ended?

"You've been so distant, Eric. I know, I know. It's all my fault. I've hurt you." I could hear she was close to tears. No. No. That's not right. Why are you making me listen to all of this? "And I'm so sorry. I still like you. I never stopped. Please, Eric, stop avoiding me." She paused as if waiting for an answer. I didn't want to reply. I wanted to end this call. I wish i never picked up.

"Okay" I muttered. My own voice felt foreign. I knew what I was doing wasn't right. "Do you want to go to an art gallery with me today? I know how much you appreciate it."

"I'll wait for you then, if you still remember our place. Be there at six." The call ended. I frowned. Have we ever gone to a place so much to make it special? To call it ours? Our whole relationship seems like such a blur. I wonder if I ever loved her, or perhaps kept her to feel less empty? Somewhat of a trophy?

The sky was slowly turning lilac. I was a bit late. It was past six already. I know she will be mad, if she's still there. I know what she meant. Catherine always loved being in nature. She loved the park. And I remember we once stayed there until it was past midnight and both of our parents were freaking out, but we didn't care because the stars were beautiful, and so was she - right on top of me. At the time, it felt right. I wonder if it's all a mistake to her by now. There's no way after what she had done, the call from earlier was sincere.

I found Catherine sitting on a bench, her back facing me, her shoulders slumped, a hoodie covering her head yet her phone was faintly illuminating her face. Beneath the trees it was dark. It began slightly raining, but I didn't mind. After a hot day, a little rain felt refreshing.

"Hey." I walked up to her. Catherine seemed a little startled. She wasn't expecting me to show up. I don't know why I did. "I'm sorry I was late. I forgot what our place was." The corners of her mouth dropped a little.

"You said we'll go to the gallery." Catherine was visibly disappointed. "I-I should have left... I knew you'd forget."

"I'm sorry." I repeated. I didn't know what to say. This feels awkward. I sat down next to her, my movement made her flinch.

"Do you care about anything? Has anything ever really touched you deep down? Filled you with emotion?" Her voice was shaky. Somehow, it was making me smile and her - angrier. 

"Of course I do." I was mocking her, but i couldn't help it.  "I can't resist hot girls, you know? Especially after hearing them moan and watching them su-"

"You're so cruel!" She yelled at me, tears streaming down her face, cheeks flushed red, drawing strangers attention. " All I ever did was love you! But I took comfort in another mans arms for one night  because you couldn't be bothered to do it, and now I've become complete trash to you! I wish I never loved you!" I can't stop thinking how much of an ugly crier she is, trying to hold back a smile again. "You were never sweet with me! You never had a heart to love me with!" She hissed and stormed off  after leaving a red mark on my left cheek. 

It stung. I deserved it. She was right. I am cruel. It began pouring down so much, even the trees couldn't cover me anymore. Her silhouette disappeared. I didn't feel guilty anymore. It was officially over. The sky was turning dark. It was time to go home.