The Unforgiving Remedy

This poem can mean anything for you, but it means something to me. You are always given 2 questions....To slowly die, or die. But there is only one answer...To live..... if you choose to...that is always a choice...

Pain

 

You bleed the tears you cry,
Yet you wish for end beyond sins
Life is fragile, you'd wish you died
Eyes stitched shut, your blind

Gun cocked, bullet ready
Steady...steady but willing
Life is worthless, love is petty
And yet meeting your maker....

Takes a break for the day

You take the remedy, bitter but sweet
Hypocrite, lost souls are lost yet they are found
Killing you slowly, quitters lust beasts
Therefore you lust for your soul within

The remedy takes hold and bleeds your heart
Addictive, seductive and destructive
So hark, when devouring the remedy was pure lark
You discover that this remedy does not give life....

But takes away time...Even though

Its to late to regurgitate this spell
Therefore its to late to recover this pain
Time smashed and yet you dwell
Stupidity, epiphany for sure

Quickness for death, or internal misery
Even though healing was a certain choice
This remedy is unforgiving, stupidity
Lips stitched shut...

You lose all voice...

 

Author's Note

All reviews are appreciated...this poem is metaphorical...

Reviews

[Robert Luna]

We await for something to stir us to the very core of our being. Give us something more to believe. Blindly we put faith in things we can not see but only feel. Honestly that is what faith is believing in something we can't see. This is very powerful and hold a truth that is fundamentally inspirational to have course through the waves of lost lies we are force fed. Really interesting piece of words to have to wrap my thoughts around.


Great Job!!!!!!!

[Suki]

Oh wow... I wish I was as good as you. You're a REALLY good writer and I'm not just saying that. It's cool to find someone my age that can write such deep poetry [I've already added some of your other stuff to my favorites] Well I'm going to go enjoy some more of your poetry now so peace. : P

[Trip]

idk i kinda got lost but i liked it thought...just something about it...

[Michael X]

very nice work, you could turn this into a song, a # 1 hit here, the enire focus is well written,
and delivered with intense imagery,
if you want an opinionated critique, i feel nothing needs to be changed,
though you could take out wording to accentuate the point more, for instance, but this may
not be your intentions at all, because i feel it already works well with flow and rhythm, and stuns

Bleeding tears, crying
Desiring for end beyond sins.... removed wishing because you've established wishing.
Life's fragile, wishing to die...
Eyes stitched, now you're blind... saying stitched, it already gives imagery of being closed.
no need to repeat the imagery,

i would basically accomadate the rest of the piece to the same featured break down., sinse
cahracter is already established, i didnt see it necessary repeat "you" over and over.
just for sake of perspective, though in my opinion, it works well as it is, excellent.

[PhoeniX]

and a well written metaphorical poem this is. great write. always a pleasure to read :-)

[JC Fox]

This was a great job and (insert wiseass comment here) I thought there were more than two choices, you could take the blue pill or the red pill or you can just say screw it and take both bills. And that is my wiseass comment :-) Great poem and you can tell that you put your all into this poem.

[Str8jacket]

Powerful as always with good vocabulary.

[EliJoLee]

woww. so mind boggling and deep. Luv everything about it. u really have a gift with words. verry good write.

[Mariah]

Pain



You bleed the tears you cry,
Yet you wish for end beyond sins
Life is fragile, you'd wish you died
Eyes stitched shut, your blind




this one really hits me,
i guess it fits me, or it did at one point.
or still does,
sad, but good write.
eye opening. - thank you.