When All Light Dies

In the depths of loneliness
The heart shattering coldness
Frozen tears upon the sullen face
No life within the dark sunken eyes
Only darkness within the wounded heart

Doubled over in anguish
The pain intensifies its fury
Tears melt as it drowns its creator
Sinking deeper into the depths of pain
Lost deep within the confines of his loneliness

The heart bleeds
From its countless wounds
Only to heal and be wounded again
A never ending cycle of anguish and torture
Only to be exploited and manifest throughout the soul

Yearning for touch
Hoping for love to heal him
So he seeks with blood dripping eyes
Love can be his savior or his executioner
Fearing his remedy yet admiring its miracles

Falling deeper into the depths
Deeper into my foreseen inevitable demise
But floating on your cloud that keeps me living
The same cloud that dries my tears and numbs my pain
Lifts me from the endless fall of my depression and misery

A cloud made from hope
A love created from my dreams
A girl manifested from my fantasies
A cure wished by my desperate thoughts of agony

 

Total Darkness
Even though when all light dies
Your heart will guide me through the depths

 

One day....

 

Never fear love...

 

Author's Note

All reviews are appreciated

Reviews

[UnderINK]

This is a fairly well written poem, but I have some critiques for it. Well, in two of the stanzas you use the same phrase twice, but it's not a constant repetition, so it's a little out of place ('in the depths of loneliness'). Although I empathize with this poem in that I've experienced before, I don't feel it was deeply impacting enough. I also noticed at the end you abandoned your stanza structure, which threw it off a little. I think it could use a little revision, but overall is a nice piece.

[Heidi]

appeals very well tot he sense and emotions. i can feel the anguish and pain but yet feel the hope. very beautiful work.

[luthien7]

I could really feel this -- the sense of loneliness and pain...but never giving up on the chance even when it ends in pain again and again. I agree with a previous critique regarding the change in structure effecting the mood of the poem but I actually think it works... you're talking about something else in these last stanzas and in your "current" expression you are rising up out of the emotions being described previously.
Maybe?

Thanks for the read

[JC Fox]

Good poem I do like the darker tragic stuff that can also hint at lighter things Great job

[Robert Luna]

Very well written piece of work here. I love how you are able to express yourself so perfect that any one that reads your words is able to feel the emotion and strength of them. I always enjoy the thoughts that your words leave laying in my mind. I always appreciate being left to think and ponder.

Great Job!!!!!

[Str8jacket]

I love this poem. It's powerful and somehow makes me feel sad and happy at the same time. It's amazing. I hope you keep writing more.