Prequel 3: Smoke and mirrors

"I hate you"
I tell myself.
As i feel the cool porcelain
On my palms.
Grabbing the sink
I hunch over.
Staring into my eyes
The mirror reflects back
A person I no longer know
But looks so familiar
What am I doing with my life
I think, I wonder
Pondering my choices
As my heart aches like thunder.
Things have never been the same
Since that night
many moons ago
I've felt only alone
Desperate for answers
Rock bottom for to long
But willing to end it all
"It's only a kids game"
...I mutter
As I light a candle
My heart flutters.
I look down
Upon a bottle of pills
Tempting me
Seducing
Intoxicating my thoughts
My mind goes dark
As well as the bathroom
After I turn off the lights
"Bloody mary"
...I whisper
Tempting fate.
Tempting death.
Tempting my, will to live
Why am I like this?
Why am I doing this?
I wonder
Two more times
Then permanent slumber
What will I see
I start to ponder
What if it's a waste of time
Or just another blunder
Only one way to find out
"Bloody Mary"
...I semi shout
I start to feel barely alive
Tears begin to fill my eye
Sorrow chokes me
Darkness controls me
Am i on borrowed time?
Random thoughts
Plague my mind
Will I die
If I say it one more time?
The candle light
Flickers in the night.
The dark feels colder
Lonelier as I ache
Maybe I shouldn't
Tempt my fate
I could just
End this pain
I grab the pill bottle
And contemplate
Tonight is the night
There will be no debate
Lost in my mind
I cry in pain
"Bloody Mary"
...Escapes my breathe
The candle flickers
I feel a cold chill
Creep up my spine
The bottle slips
And falls to the floor
I reach after it quick
Then I fall on the floor
Lights out
Pitch black
Darkness galore
When I come to
My head throbs in pain
I feel the sensation
Of blood pouring from my face
I must have smashed the sink
And knocked myself out
I get up slowly and groggy
While dazed and confused
The candle went out
So i turn on the lights
Takes a second to adjust
Before the moment of truth
The mirror had a message
Engraved on its face
"Your will to die
Is why you're alive
So take this second chance
To do something with your life"