You've Killed Me

I always thought of you when I was alone at night. Sometimes I even imagined you by my side. And when I cried, you'd dry the tears again. You held me tightly in your arms and told me everything was gonna be alright. I believed your lies. My lies. Well, I know that it wasn't the real you who was hugging me. It was my imaginary Boyfriend. But my obsession became to big for the reality. My life wasn't real anymore. I was living in my fantasy. And now I'm standing in my bathroom. I've written so many letters to you. In the hope you'de notice my scream for help. Even that hope was part of my fantasy. A tear falls down on the ground. It makes the ground shiver and I'm affraid that I'm gonna fall on the cold floor. 'Not yet, hold yourself up!' In the mirror I see a girl I no longer know. She was my best friend, a long time ago. But she became my enemy. Because she's weak. Can you see her cry? She fell into the trap of a stupid player. I see him, behind the girl in the mirror. He gives her a gentle kiss in her neck, tells her she doesn't have to do this. I close my eyes. Another tear falls down. I have to stop this. I can't go on any longer. I just can't hold on anymore. I've cried to much already. Even a cut hurts more less than the anger inside me. The only thing that seems to help me over this, is the sound of falling blood on the cold bathroomfloor. I just can't resist this feeling. It has to stop. It needs to end. One last look in the mirror. The boy has left me behind, cause he already knows that he won't be able to stop me now. It took long enough. I've written my last letter. For the one who'll find me. I hope you'll get to read it. So you'll finaly know what I did to get closer. I gave you my life. I sit down on the floor and take a deep breath. The shiny blade of my knife is gleaming in the weak light that fills the room. My last deep breath and I cut my wrist trough. And now I realise.. now it's to late. Even you are not worth to die for. You've killed me..

Author's Note

I wrote this a long time ago, when I wasn't feeling too well..
I got inspiration from something I'd read on Deviantart, and still think it's not that bad.

I could use some advise, so tell me what you think!

Reviews

[-WolfReaper (NERV)]

Before I start I would like to say i'm new here, and this is my first review. I read something about 'notes' but i'm not to sure, so if i do anyway wrong i apologize. But whoa. What a start to my Writer's cafe experience. This is a very, very powerful piece. I must admit I've been there before, I once got so caught up in my 'fantasy girl' i started writing love letter's to her. And in another time I've cut myself over a break up, So i could really connect with the nameless character. I really like how you've ended it, I wouldn't have it any other way. The only changes i would make is to do with the description. Just make the picture Larger and more colorfull if you know what i mean!

-Reaper.