I'll Take Your Pain

It's about a dear friend.

Scar me and mutilate me more.
Hurt me, It doesn't even matter anymore.
I said "I swear I love you," and I meant it.
But you didn't believe me because my arm, I slit.

You said my "i'm sorry"'s mean nothing to you.
Who are you? I don't think I know who.
The girl I knew didn't back away from an embrace.
Can't you see the sadness that brought to my face?

I want you to know the hurt you incite.
I want you to never feel my fright.
Why can't we forget that night?
Why must we let it blur our sight?

You say i'm 'unchanged' but I know it's untrue.
I know, or else you'd hug me, and love me, too.

Author's Note

Its crappy.. Is more of just my thoughts in a jumbled mess.

Reviews

[Ashley Nelson]

I can see what you mean when you say in your author's note that it is your thoughts in a jumbled mess. It does need some refining. The rhyme and rhythm are off...sometimes it rhymes and other times it doesn't, and in the very first two lines the ending rhyme word more. I usually prefer when the matching rhyme words match but aren't the same word. So, as a poem, it hasn't been perfected, but the meaning is still behind it, and I think you could very easily craft it into a fine tuned poem if you so wished. I can tell there is a lot of emotion behind it: both anger and compassion. You want the person to regret the way they've made you feel, and yet you wouldn't want them to suffer as you have. And it ends on a sad note, when you say that if they understood they'd hug you and love you as well...and that's just sad, because...well, it is. It's meant to be, and is.