Holes in Hearts(Bruises on Bodies, Cuts on Carcasses)

I don't want to explain.

Hide my pain,
So nothing shows.
Cut the lane,
As my breathing slows.
It's my fault,  I understand.
Waves never cease to halt.
Love is written on my hand.
Cruel waves,
Crash through my soul.
Hurts like staves,
In this hole.

Your broken,
but your cared for.
And I'm hopin'
That your spirit soars.

You'd do more with life
Then I could imagine.
Cut my heart out with a knife.
Live a life for exploration.
A simple trade that wont take long.
My heart for your heart.
Hear the angels bitter-sweet song.
My final gift before we part,
I will die but my spirits alive.
And for you no more strife.
I'll take my final dive,
And you'll awaken to new life.

Reviews

[Ashley Nelson]

Hmm...VERY interesting. It's a lot more deeply embedded, I think, than your other poems. I actually can't be quite sure I understand what it means. And yes, I think that's a good thing. I do one have problem to point out, and it's your use of "your" as opposed to "you are". Your is possessive, as in your story...You are, is descriptive, as in you are a great writer;) You wrote "your broken/ but your cared for" and it should have been "you're" in both instances.

Anyway, to the meat of the poem...I love the intriguing imagery. I love the line "cut the lane" because I have a feeling it has more than one meaning. I also LOVE "it's my fault, I understand"...it seems to sing to me somehow, and I can feel it resonate within me. Even though I'm not sure exactly what this poem means, I can tell I can relate to it. It's beautiful. I also love the "cruel waves/ crash..." I thought that was beautifully written. I also really enjoyed the reference to the angel's bitter-sweet song.

And lastly, the last two lines really leave me thinking: "I'll take my final dive, and you'll awaken to a new life." I can picture my ap english teacher having a whole class centered around the possible meaning in those two lines. You could be talking to yourself, and saying that by killing yourself (either literally or metaphorically with that last dive) you will awaken to a new life...either the afterlife or a new lease on life. Or you could be talking to someone else, saying that by ending your life (again either literally or metaphorically) you will be granting them a new life...probably away from you. It's very interesting and it's one of those pieces that reverberates in people's minds for a while after they read it. Well done!