The Thousandth Scar

a try at a more quickened lyrical feel to my writing, a definite break from my norm... figured I'd try something new.

A thousand scars that cover the face

of our loyal Earth were razed green to gray 

to raise a concrete maze

betrayed

 with grinding steel to set the pace

against stone shattered exploding like crushed peace

The shrapnel putting us on our last knee

with a deafening blast of sobriety

pounding down and around those once proud

who now tremble in fear from the blackening cloud

 fertilized with a hundred years of soot and ash

and destructive toil in a bloodlust for oil

spewing forth in acid oceans and tearing the pages

from a book carved in soil

for the last of the ages

Reviews

[SR Urie]

Aries,
Interesting verse. Sentiment of how mankind has bruised and gashed Mother Earth to the verge of his own extinction, like so many other species murdered by our domination over the world. Nice job.

If I may, you forced me to read this three times before I finally figured out what you were talking about. As you said, more "quickened lyrical feel," but I would suggest that in the next poem you give more detail as to how, why, when, with a tad more description of the result. Don't change a word of this very good poem, but keep in mind how easy it is for me, the reader, to go to the next poem, the next poet whom is more interesting.

Nice work, my friend. Keep it up! BZ

[E.H. Monroe]

And thi sis why come 2012, when the trees walk like in some f*****g Tolkein novel, and aqua man pisses in our drinking water and the vultures pluck our eye balls out, I'll be on my roof with this poet and bellowing it into the post apocalyptic madness.

Strong, QUICK rhyming inner rhyme, spoken word flow.

Right up my alley on all accounts.

Well done sir