If you're going to rhyme, then rhyme. And if you do, you need to work on prosody. An occasional rhyme, here and there, without pattern or attention paid to cadence, only detracts.
It would pay to read the excerpt from Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled, for his observations on language and poetry.
Thanks for stopping by and with my writing for the most part what you see is what you get. If it rhy.. read moreThanks for stopping by and with my writing for the most part what you see is what you get. If it rhymes great, if not, works for me. If there is a mix, it still works. My writing is generally very fast. I am not a craftsmen of my poetry for the most part.
So maybe I am just a hack writer. That also works for me. Appreciate your time.My thoughts on my writing or anyones is that my words bring an emotion, smile or laugh. From the other comments received, I have reached my goal
Don't you hate waking up from some of those good dreams? Valentine
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Well I write of dreams, but my dreams are all in a waking state. I seldom ever have memories of my d.. read moreWell I write of dreams, but my dreams are all in a waking state. I seldom ever have memories of my dreams at night. Thank you for taking time to stop by and leaving your words.
This is such a sweet write. The last stanza made me imagine a father coming home from work giving his wife a good night kiss.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you and I like your thought on father coming home. I am sure some Freudian could analyse and b.. read moreThank you and I like your thought on father coming home. I am sure some Freudian could analyse and break this down to metaphors, but it is just a dream work. Appreciate the visit.
Enjoyed this experience Will. Utila, here I come! :)
When I was a young man I used to spend most of my free time exploring nature alone... I imagined "she" was always with me.
A beautiful write.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you David. I appreciate the visit and the kind words. I did enjoy writing this from Idea to co.. read moreThank you David. I appreciate the visit and the kind words. I did enjoy writing this from Idea to completion.
These thoughts enchant magic and light from the atmosphere. It is dream fabric coming to life, and how gentle and beautiful it feels to the touch. So well done my friend.
Absolutely dream like. Your poem touches deep these fantasies of fairies and nymphs frolicking once the sun sets. I hear a pan flute playing in the background as I read.
Thank you for your time and you have me thinking of adding a music piece with a pan flute. Appreciat.. read moreThank you for your time and you have me thinking of adding a music piece with a pan flute. Appreciate the time spent with my work.
Photography and words are my activities to try and keep an over active mind under control. For the most part my pieces have been short since that's how I'm wired. I would like to write something longe.. more..