Island Girl Dream

Series Continues

The day,  bright with sunlight
as I think of her dark eyes,
girl on the other side of the world.

Her ruby lips of red,
hair like dark silk,
skin of alabaster,

wanting this day
to be close to her
and hold her near.

My Island Girl Dream.

Reviews

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

This is a beautiful piece..of love and longings.

I like your beautiful muse!
Enjoyed reading it!

[Willard Wells]

I am very happy that you enjoyed this and your kind words and comments are greatly appreciated.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

You are welcome!

[Richard🖌]

Willard,
You've painted a delightful realm and moment of wondrous fantasy to enthrall even the most muted imagination, and surely my own is alive with visions and stirrings galore!
I love the way you set the sunny scene with your first line, and drew us in with "her dark eyes", then in verse two … oh-MY! Then, you personified it for us by allowing us to share a feeling, imagining the touch of her … mm, it is most lovely, Willard, indeed!

Techy stuff: Gramatically, V1 has issues, consider: "The day is bright with sunlight," or "The day, bright with sunlight," (sunlight is one word). V2L1 "Her ruby lips of red," needs a capital and a comma, and L3 "skin of alabaster, "should end with a comma in preparation for flowing into V3L1.

Anyway, I know you know I love this, Willard, and thank you so much for the sweet treat! ⁓ Richard


(85/100 — easy fixes will make it 100/100) 😋

[Willard Wells]

I am so happy you enjoyed my little work with words. Thank you for the suggestions. I wrote this and failed to review it much so it did not get much proofing.

[Richard🖌]

You are welcome, Willard … now, be sure to make those needed improvements to set your poem right for the enjoyment and admiration of future readers and not to waste my time … LOL!
Check-out my newest poem (posted just for You): http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/RichardJ/1647438/

[Willard Wells]

I thought I had those corrections made. hahaha I will read your work.

[Richard🖌]

Is much improved, My Friend! 💥

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

A beautiful dream you have, Willard. Thank you for sharing your poem. :) Rudi

[Willard Wells]

Thank you Rudi for your comments and time with my words.

[Perkele.7885]

I like your description of her, I can see her in my minds eye and find that she is not at all that very far away

[Willard Wells]

Thank you Raj for stopping by to view my words and comment. Island Girl lives and she may be close.