Waves

Edge of water

  

Standing at surf's edge

Waves crash rock walls then retreat

Water's wash over me

Glimmering water

Creeping up a sandy beach

Toes covered wet sand

Digging in the earth

Sandcastle by the sea shore

Laughter and joy reign.

Author's Note

Senryu/Haiku Series. Take your pick. I think more Haiku.

Reviews

[jeannemarie coulter]

i just think beautiful and join you on the sand to play in the waves, please have patience with my dogs and horse...they travel with me always...lol...

[Willard Wells]

As long as your dog and horse do no foul the foot path, I will have no issues. Thank you for reading and commenting on my work. It is greatly appreciated.

[Perkele.7885]

line 1 surf's
line 3 waters
these corrections do not change your syllable count

[Willard Wells]

Thanks Raj. I knew I could count on you. I am feeling bad with everyone doing my corrections. O'Well such is life.

[Perkele.7885]

You made my corrections backwards surf's waters

[Sir Harold Chesterhill ..]

Superb Ol' Bean! Reminds of my time in the King's Navy when we had recently captured fresh deckmaids from the savage wastelands. After a lengthy conversion to the Church of England by your's truly, what? They also responded quite well to keel hauling however their poor constitution didn't fair well against the swarms of sharks in Caribbean waters.

[Willard Wells]

Thank you for reading and commenting Harold and if your in Monterey, I am sure you have seen the scene of my picture before.

[Marie]

I think more haiku myself, because of the beautiful images it invokes, although there is a light-hearted feeling to the poem which might be more senryu.

Incidentally, "reins" are what you cntrol a horse with. I think you mean "reigns."

[Willard Wells]

I agree Marie. There is a fine line between nature in a Haiku and not enough and it is more Senryu. As I read this over and consider it, I am leaning to Haiku. I did read a article about people submitting Senryu and Haiku in contest and it is mentioned that many put the piece out without saying which it is and it is left up to the judges to determine. And you are correct on reins. My fingers and brain are not always working together. Thank you fo ryour review.

[sereenaoutloud]

Beautiful senyru,..your words and the picture are just stunning together!

[Willard Wells]

Thank you so much. I am glad you liked it.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Another piece inspired by your beautiful location and captured both in verse and by your trusty camera Willard. It says senyru in the title?

[Willard Wells]

Senryu rather than Haiku since I injected myself and not just nature. At least that's how I see it. These forms always make me wondering which is which. Thank you for reviewing and commenting.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Both senyru and haiku are three lines in length and have 5-7-5 syllables (on in Japanese). Haiku make reference to nature and have other features that separates them from senyru.

[Willard Wells]

In addition the Haiku and Senryu may be continued with the same 5-7-5 format. I guess it is a series of Senryu. In traditional one would write the Senryu and then another would add to it and pass it on from what I have read. I just did series of Senryu related as one piece. Or at least that was my plan

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Anything goes as they say. I did try it as three connected senyru initially but 'Glimmering clear water' has six syllables?

[Willard Wells]

You are correct. I counted and counted and knew I WOULD MESS UP. BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD.