Blind Date

Spent many years

Searching

But not knowing 

What for

Thought that

Happiness was mine

But did not know

Life like love is blind

Saw signs of trouble

With subtle hints

She was colder than

Most fish

Knew it was coming

And had no regrets

As the door closed

Behind her she left

Rethought the future

Went on with life

Searching for new love

To light up the night

Asked friends

And acquaintance

To find

Me a date

I waited for her

At Starbucks for a blind date

And then she arrived

How do I rate

Her porcelain skin

Dark brown eyes

Long dark hair

She caught my eye

Found new love

After a few dates

Now life is fine

New love sublime

Author's Note

Trying to make something out of this.

Reviews

[JayceeC]

I really like this one. The only place there is room to make a change i this little story would be to tighten " Searching for a new love" by removing "a" and that is a nitpick Willard. You have improved so much that there is little room for improvement here.

[Willard Wells]

Your right. When I tightened it I miss that "a" and the one before Blind date, so I replaced both and corrected "New" with "Knew". Thanks for the help.

[JayceeC]

I would put the a back in before blind date, since it sounds strange without it. Also think about putting a description of new love after the changed line from above. You've already ended one line in that stanza with life. "In my life" is not really serving a purpose at that point. If you leave it out no meaning is lost...so maybe describe the love your searching for or why with a descriptive word or two.

[Willard Wells]

Don't know if I caught exactly your idea, but I made changes that I like and I think are in line with your ideas. Thanks again.

[JayceeC]

was actually talking about last line of stanza 5. But I love your additon of the extra description.

[Willard Wells]

I had a hard time with that one. Every change kept ending with the word "LIFE". I think the way I did it will work and when I read that part I could see what your talking about. Thanks again.

[JayceeC]

I love the way it turned out..the change works really well!

[Willard Wells]

Thanks to your fine help and suggestions.