Fleeting Moment

Always say I love you

Saying I love your touch

Showing I love your eyes.

Still I love your lips.

Silky I love your skin.

Stating you're my everything.

Showering you with  thank yous..

Standing up to say I love you. 

Moments can be gone forever.

Never let that moment pass.

You'll bring happiness,

You'll bring joy..

A moment in time can change a life,

So never let that Fleeting Moment Pass.

Author's Note

Complete re write mostly structure wise. Trying a different approach based on reviews.

Reviews

[JayceeC]

You want to restructure...okay drop the repetition...look at the lines with out the "A fleeting Moment" you'll need to add something to the first two to expand them a bit..Say I love you more than enough
say thank you to the simplest things. You've got the bones of what you want to say but the structure is raw. I'd add the fleeting moment onto either the last line or the second to the last...or I'd expand and write something about the significance of them in about three lines with this one.
I love when people are ready to rewrite the whole thing...then I don't need to worry I'm trouncing on feelings.

[Willard Wells]

the scary part is in the rewrite I add the repetition. It's a piece that is just not coming together correctly. I will review with you ideas in mind. When you write like I do, sometimes you win, sometimes you loss and sometimes you go nuts fixing something you should just step away from. hahahaha Thanks again for the read and time.

[JayceeC]

I'm lucky because my brain spits it out in some kind of fashion that seems to work.

[Willard Wells]

Many of my works happens that way to, but some I write and it is more like there had been a bad accident and it needs triage. Thanks again and have a great day. No more midnights since it can be dangerous young lady,

[JayceeC]

LOL..well that's what happens when I procrastinate. My best friend here was up until three with hers (but at home)..so, I must keep insane company..LOL

[Willard Wells]

Well I am not so sure that sanity is all that it is suppose to be cracked up to be. I have seen some really scary normal (in someone's view) people. I seem to be better with the people closer to the edge.

[JayceeC]

Well that explains why you like me...LOL