The Raven, A Co-Write With Rick Puetter

Inspired by William Blake's poem, "The Tyger", a poem intended to pay homage to this great poet.

Photo Author: Bombtime. The photograph may be found at

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Female_adult_raven.jpg

Licensed under GNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.2.

Dear Reader,

     This poem is a joint effort of Sheila Kline and Rick Puetter and is co-posted on each of our WritesCafe sites (http://www.writerscafe.org/writers/wvhillbilly47/ and http://www.writerscafe.org/writers/rpuetter/). It was inspired by, and is meant to pay homage to, William Blake’s poem “The Tyger”. We hope you enjoy the poem.

                                   Sheila and Rick

 

THE RAVEN

 

Raven, raven, Hand of Night

Lost in Shadow, hid’ from sight.

Mask, you, secrets there from Man

Contemplating evil plan?

 

Each new morn where e'er you fly

Cawing scream sets peace awry

Hound you now for mortal soul?

For who next will church bell toll?

 

When the hunted feels thy pain

Dirges, sad, ' not sung in vain!

Whether sent to Heav’n or Fire

Thy embrace ‘ no man’s desire!

 

And what scripture and what book

Could bear fair witness to thy look?

Thy deathly gaze God's love belies

And with last croaks you cause us ' die!

 

Galaxies will cease to turn

Ere for Man's soul you cease to yearn

Tell, did Dark One with His Hate

Spawn you in His tryst with Fate?

 

Raven, raven, Bird of Blight

Wrapped in blackest cloak of night

Would you the Creator bite

And shun salvation in thy spite?

 

©2009 Sheila Kline and Richard Puetter, each  and  individually

All rights reserved

 

Author: Waugsberg. The photograph may be found at:

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Tumulo_de_D._Pedro_I_57a.jpg

Licensed under GNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.2.

  

 

 

Author's Note

I wish to thank Rick Puetter for bringing this poem to fruition! He had sent me William Blakes's poem, "The Tyger" several months back, and I have it posted on my public profile page. The poem impressed me so much that I wanted to write a poem similar to it. Rick graciously, with his great poetic talent took on the task of seeing my idea come to life as he refined, polished, added, and helped create this beautiful write! THANK YOU RICK!!!! I am forever grateful to you for all the help you have given, and continue to offer to me with my writing endeavors!! This is "OUR MASTERPIECE"!


A few comments on Lilmikee's Review:

Thank you for your review and kind words.

We have few comments on the points you raise. First on the line "Mask, you, secrets there from Man", yes, the question of punctuation in poetry is always thorny. One battles between leaving the punctuation out entirely, putting some of it in, and putting it all in. We have taken a middle ground. The commas around the word "you" are required for correct punctuation. However it is common practice to read lines such as this in poetry without the pauses. Our alternative, of course, is to leave the punctuation out entirely and then there is no issue with pauses. However then the punctation is incorrect, but this is normally ignored in poetry, especially if you leave all punctuation out. So as pointed out before, the correct punctuation is put in, but the line is meant to be read without pauses. We are taking a "middle-ground" position.

Next on the line "Whether sent to Heav'n or Fire", you correctly point out that we deliberately dropped a letter to preserve the meter, and we certainly did. You say, however, that "I feel it comes out even more awkward as the reader has to consciously drop the second syllable". Yes, this is true, but that is common practice, especially with pieces of Blake's era. Perhaps you are familiar with poetry from this period and you have already mentioned that you had not read Blake before. Indeed, the use of "Heav'n" might be considered another nod in honor of Blake since he used this quite a bit himself as in his poem "An Imitation of Spenser"--see the abstracted segment form this poem below.

An Imitation of Spenser -- Wlliam Blake

"...And thou, Mercurius, that with wingd brow
Dost mount aloft into the yielding sky,
And thro' Heav'n's halls thy airy flight dost throw,"

So you can see the dropping of leters and strong contraction (as in thro') are quite common in pieces of this era. And we have followed this style throughout. There is another example in our poem in the second line: "Lost in Shadow, hid from sight", where we strongly contract "hidden" as hid'.

Thank you for reviewing "The Raven" and caring enough to provide detailed comments.

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

Years later, I still read and feel your collaboration with Rick as one if not the best of collaborations. You have not used Blake for your own ends but shadowed his creation with absolute respect, even though miniscule changes have been made. Superb work offered by two poets who initially welcomed me into the cafe and tried to make something of my scribbless! Best and true wishes..

[Sheila Kline]

Dearest Emma!
Your reviews are ever welcomed as they are always kind, poignant, and appreciated as that of a writer who consistently displays wisdom while appreciating the humble work of others!
I again do thank you and shall always be grateful to call you a friend of the highest of highs!!

[emmajoygreen]

If only you could see my first smile of the day!!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Well I must say you paid great tribute to a fabulous writer with your own unique flare and style... mixing his old world style with your modern touch made for one fine poem... great job by both of you.

[Lizanne]

You know I have always admired your pen and now I covet it!! Truly a great masterpiece. I agree with Emma the traditional poetry exists and this adds to the library of great works. Glad you did this and admire the skill. Read it three times. The dark raven and his stare of death. You did well by him. Great writing.

[deeps]

This is simply amazing here
I really enjoyed your collab.
Love the pics used as well.

[Jim Walters]

Yes . . . and a very good masterpiece it is.................

[Mark]

Expanding somewhat upon Emma's comments, the Native Americans see the Raven as a portent of good tidings, although frequently with a price attached on the flipside. So, too, the Scandinavians, especially the Norse, associate the raven with their trickster god, Loki.
A really lovely work here, Sheila--I see strong elements of both your styles in it, yet, as another commentator noted, the juncture is seamless! Thanks for this well-executed piece!

[Angel Veselinov]

Hey great collaboration. Very nice pretty good :) Nice poetry and flow good rhymes love it. Also the message is quite nice as well thank you for your sharing peace :)

[emmajoy]

Traditional poetry still exists!

What a great collaboration, one can't see the joins at all, at all and that's a true 'union of minds'. With its deep dark plumage and seemingly evil eyes, the raven is seen as the winged devil incarnate.

Blake's poetry and paintings portray near terror and symbol, they personify the spirit in torment and fear.. you've followed the example with amazing care.

wever, the sight of a raven has been both a portent and a blessing in the UK. In your poem as in many others, the bird signals the worst, but in the Tower of London a few ravens are protected as they have been for years. The saying is that when they leave (they can't, their wings are clipped) the tower and consequently, the country will fall.

The following really rings the bell with me, but, I must say your style throughout reflects the ancient belief of good and bad amongst the creature world .. ' Galaxies will cease to turn ~ Ere for Man's soul you cease to yearn ~ Tell, did Dark One with His ~ Hate ~ Create you midst His spawn with Fate? '

Blake must be smiling in his grave.

[Sean M. Addams]

I like this alot and i'm a big fan of william blake .. i defintley think you did him justice with this piece... the imagery and detail is great in this and very deep... a masterpiece you have created here... very nicely done... a amazing write!!!