Nobody Home, Avoid the Meaner S**t!, Avoid Gloating, Sarving Zombies

Barstool philosophy

Nobody Home

Murmuring, contentedly,

Each word utter gibberish,

Merely, babbling in our ears,

Without any real significance;

Whenever our Lights are left on,

If nobody's home but us chickens!

Avoid the Meaner S**t!

The meanest bullshit denies denial,

Forever enjoying strangling itself,

Denying innocence ever existed,

We deny our ignorant humor,

Knowin' Great ignorance.

Avoid the Meaner S**t!

Trusting in yourselves,

Embrace gentle comedy,

Appreciate your humanity.

Only the meanest bullshit enforces the compulsion,

Brothers and sisters have to be mean to themselves!

Avoid Gloating

Once upon a time people were not so easily impressed,

With quite so many Bullshit Artists!

Sometimes its really hard to Laugh;

Whenever we strangle easier jokes,

Yet humor may bring us Together,

If stupid bullshit drives us apart.

The trick is your sense of humor,

Avoid gloating over punchlines.

Starving Zombies

Dealing with bullies always makes me homesick,

For the place where I go to relax;

To prepare for the meanest bullies,

Studying the art of doing nothing!

I know It Sounds Stupid,

But, I Swear that its True!

In order to go to fun places,

You Must First Learn, How To Stop Moving!

Now, the laziest dance craze of the century!

Adored, By Starving Zombies, Everywhere!

Fortunate enough to shuffle in just in time,

To sit still and eat Peacefully at the table.