Ride the Great Rainbow Fractal Dragon!

Ride the Great Rainbow Fractal Dragon

Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise, karma’s a b***h! Nobody knows that better than the Rainbow Fractal Dragon and me, while I don’t even know what my karmic debt is about! I guess I stole too many cookies from the cookie jar or something. Oh, I forgot to say welcome to the Goldilocks multiverse! Not exactly what most people had in mind but, you get used to it after a few years, or a few lifetimes.

The dragon was a very normal average young women with a college degree and her whole life ahead of her until she made a stupid mistake, something really stupid like mixing bleach and ammonia, and gave half a dozen toddlers she was watching brain damage. Her karma is to be the dragon and to care for the kids, and if I could pay her karma for her I would. She’s a real sweetheart, but never mention where the end of her tail is. I tease her about it only because we’re good friends, but you never want to mess with a dragon!

We’re both magical avatars of mother nature, yin and yang, and even sort of married after a fashion, even though we live on opposite sides of the planet. Mother nature gave me all the bullshit knowledge over a lifetime, but the dragon doesn’t need to know anything and even says she is stupid, but I really like her anyway. When she needs to know something, she just knows it because the dragon is everywhere in the universe at the same time! She guards the entrance to any rabbit hole for mother nature, while I am mother nature’s biographer of sorts and, of course, having the mentality of a three year old, she insists I make her look pretty. Anyway, the dragon supplies a lot of the metaphors and magic, while I am magical with words and any time I need to research something or find a metaphor, it just appears on my computer over the course of doing my usual thing. Sometimes my words correct themselves, sometimes my words write themselves or rewrite themselves and it can get confusing.

Once, I threw a temper tantrum and tried to send something online to someone that mother nature told me not to send and, just to show me that she’s not impressed with temper tantrums, she crashed six computers in a row on me! Like I keep saying, she’s not a girl you ever want to disappoint, anymore than you want to mess with the dragon who, as much as I really like her and am even sort of married to her, she makes the Cheshire Cat look tame! They call her the “Treasure of Malaysia” because she’s perhaps the most powerful earth mother, witch, or genie on the planet today and Malaysia has been the new home of religious Taoists and tribal Taoists ever since the communists started throwing them into reeducation camps in China. Salt of the earth doesn’t mean crap to either communists or capitalists when it comes to getting whatever the hell they want, and religious Taoists are about as much of a threat to communism and capitalism as Quakers!

In fact, Quakers are about as close as you get to Taoism, and a lot of my friends are Quakers who really connect with hippies. I have two kids, who are grown now but, instead of telling stories at bedtime, we always sang and we like Quaker songs a lot. They tend to be very moral people and very thoughtful and warm and a lot of Taoists think the highest compliment you can give someone is to just say they're a great guy or a really nice person. I’ve been privileged to know a lot of really great people in my life, including a good friend of mine who claims Gonzo the Muppet is his personal hero! They even look a little alike and he’s a little guy who weighs 90lbs soaking wet and a real busy-back-soon type, but I know fifty people that would jump off a cliff for that man, just because he’s a really great guy and always pays it forward.

His name is Cricket, and no doubt it embarrasses him for me to write about him, but mother nature puts people in your life for a reason and, in my case, along with all the nonstop insanity in my life, she has thrown a number of really great people into my life that still inspire me to this day. Cricket is happily married with kids and everyone who knows him is thrilled to see there is justice in this world. That’s the flip side of karma, is karma’s a b***h until you stop thinking about it and just keep paying it forward sucker! If you don’t like what mother nature has to offer you, her complaint department is a recording of laughter!

But, this chapter is about the dragon, who helped write this book, and I’ll try not to embarrass anymore of my friends. I wouldn’t even be writing about the dragon, except she guards the rabbit hole and people need a better idea of what to expect. Too many hippies I know are confused about whether there is a bottom to a rabbit hole or not, but you never leave the rabbit hole! Suffice it to say, we are all both flaming geniuses and drooling idiots, and some of us would never have it any other way!

Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. I am the Wu Li master of the Tao Te Ching, the Shockwave Rider who rides the Great Rainbow Fractal Dragon. Proud to call myself a genius and a flaming idiot! Shine on all you crazy diamonds! Sparkle like never before!