Leading From the Rear

I know a guy who has perfected this comedy routine, and is great for parties.

Leading From the Rear

Valor, sometimes, the better part of necessity,

Rightfully prudence the better part of valor,

Valor, frequently, confused with stupidity!

Yet, chivalry forever going out of fashion!

Never accepting that they all think alike!

Rarely bothering to look before they leap,

Before ripping, another foul smelling fart!

Great behinds, almost always, stink alike,

Insisting to themselves, better out than in!

Taking deep breaths of their own foul farts.

Until the only people ever left, in any room!

Rush to open every single door and window.

Know that guilt, is a horrible thing to waste,

Proving to anybody their own unworthiness!

A complete waste of anyone's time and effort,

Upon those insistent on being most unworthy!

Refusing to ever exercise the slightest restraint,

Often stupidly attempting to lead from the rear,

Yet knowing its impossible to lead from the rear,

They repeatedly persist in making futile attempts.

Believing they are funny, pissing many people off!

Believing any others have inferior senses of humor,

Whenever a pile of crap hits the fan especially hard!

Forcing those in sealed rooms, to plan escape routes!

Those, with diarrhea of the mouth may, yet, attempt!

To justify all their more vile and deplorable behavior;

Simply to regurgitate their own popular disapproval!

Odiously persisting in torturing all their own critics!

Half of those I've spoken to, online, have confessed,

They're deeply suspicious of common dictionaries.

Oblivious they merely use common definitions!

Not that they care merely desiring to argue,

Wishing to lead from the rear arguing!

Over who defines the word stupid!

And who is the best example!

Who is stinking up the room,

Who might be more offended!

Who, is just another jack a*s!

Who's farts are forever worse!

Who, is the lesser of offenders!

Who is the bigger king of fools!

Who is actually making a fuss!

I never worry too much, myself,

Not bothering, to dwell upon it!

Preferring not to waste my time!

Or that of anybody else involved!

Upon the unworthy great behinds.

Upon those who lead from the rear,

Those who think their behinds great,

Unaware, that they're so predictable;

Those who think they're such hot s**t!

Those who think, they are the greatest!

Sorrow and anger only wasted on them!

Just wasted, on any of the great behinds!

Who always stink alike without thinking!

Much less ever having to utter a single word!