Rose

A boy with intimate knowledge of absolute nothingness uses a new opportunity to explore a kinder and empty world where he discovers a woman who he need's desperately yet won't and can't ever help him.

“God, you look even more beautiful from here. Hey, I saw you winkin’ at me from over that pile’a crap over there, sunset behind you an’ all, an’ I thought I’d come see how you were doin’. Wasn’t sure I would actually make the climb though. What’s your name sweetie?”

 

…

 

“Rose! Gosh, that sure is a pretty name you got there Rose. Name’s Alex. Pleasure.”

 

…

 

“What am I doin’ out here? Well I thought you’d never ask! I’m just makin’ my way up north, thought if I made it to maybe Canada, hell even maybe just to Maine, I’d find someone on the way. I always loved the coast. Never thought I’d see it like this though, that’s for sure.”

 

…

 

“Oh, I’m from South Carolina. Yup, born and raised. Sometimes I think maybe I should’a just stayed there forever. Hell, even after all this, I don’t know if anyones even out there anyway. I mean, I’d rather starve in South Carolina than starve in the middle’a nowhere… Oh, sorry, I didn’t even ask where you’re from.”

 

…

 

“You don’t gotta tell me nothin’ if you don’t wanna… Guess this is a better place to starve than South Carolina though, right? Sure is a pretty place.

 

…

 

“Sorry, I’m not so good at talkin’ no more; not that it means much anymore anyhow. Not that it ever really has matter’a fact. Y’know I haven’t even seen a single soul since this whole… y’know shitstorm thing kinda just happened.”

 

…

 

“Yeah, my daddy always told me I had to watch the news more often, that maybe that’d help me get what was goin’ on in the world. Well hell, I watched the news every day before just a few months ago, and I still had no idea what was goin’ on! Crazy fantastics messin everything up.”

 

…

 

“I wasn’t all that bad, I watched the news sometimes. I knew about the fantastics comin in an’ everything an’ all the bombin’ and everything. I just was more interested in my Applejacks. Y’ever had Applejacks Rose?”

 

…

 

“How’s that? Oh… Yea I’ve just been walkin’ up the coast. I always liked walkin’ by the beaches and lookin’ at the water splashin’ on the shore. It’s a little lonely, but what isn’t really.”

 

…

 

“Yea, you’re right! It is good exercise, I guess. Momma always told me to get more exercise. She always said ‘Alex, honey, those arms’a yours gonna go and drop off if you don’t lift those weights daddy and I got you for your birthday.’ I never did use them much, but I don’t gotta carry that much with me so its ok now. I just got my backpack with some food in it, and… well what else… just some stuff from my daddy’s shelter. Here’s a flare, a can opener (lotta use that is), a little handgun-”

 

…

 

“What? Y’know, just for anything, a bear come at me, maybe if I meet someone that ain’t so friendly… I mean, I ain’t never shot it before… I don’t plan on it really, but… Hell, you don’t gotta be worryin’ ‘bout stuff like this?”

 

…

 

“That’s right! Not like anything ‘round here would really wanna be livin’ anyway. If it ever was in the first place… really I mean.”

 

…

 

“Y’know I never did have a lady friend at home… Yeah, well Momma said I was too young for that kinda stuff anyway, but I still always thought ‘bout this girl, Jessie. She was a real beauty, not all dolled up or anything, just a real girl. Y’know? Boy me and her use’ta go to this big ol’ forgotten airplane hanger on the days there wasn’t school. We’d do anything and everything in that big ol’ empty place. Yup, it was so empty and sad lookin’, but not when she was there with me. We use’ta take some clubs and some balls from her daddy’s garage and practice drivin’em into the windows of the overhang thing. We’d take my bb gun and set up old beer bottles to aim at. Sometimes we’d just take a book there and read. I wasn’t so good at readin’ ever but Jessie knew probably every word in the English language. Did you know holocaust ain’t just what happened to the Jews? Nah, it’s for anyone who’s gettin’ killed in like big numbers and stuff. That was the last word Jessie ever taught me.”

 

…

 

“…”

 

…

 

“She painted too! She painted the prettiest pictures. I didn’t know how she could paint such a pretty picture from inside such a gray ol’ empty hanger. It was big’n all, but I never saw nothin’ worth paintin’ in there. She’d paint the room with flowers in it though, so she made it prettier like that. She’d always add in green trees and lots’a grass and sometimes even like a river or even an animal or some such. I always asked her why she did that but she just told me she was just paintin’ what she saw. I didn’t ever really get that.”

 

…

 

“Yea, before the shitstorm happened me and her was close. I bet if she was here right now she wouldn’t see all this crap. That pile’a rubble over there would be a nice big hill, maybe even with a windmill on top. Oh and that building over there’d be filled with butterflies and lilies and all sorts’a pretty things. I don’t know how she sees that s**t. All it is is a broken pile’a crap. That’s all anything is. Ain’t no flowers or trees or birds anymore no how. They’re all just as dead as she is.”

 

…

 

“You got pretty eyes. They’re all blue in the middle. I like when eyes are all colorful and stuff. Everything ‘round here is all so gray, but you got pretty blue eyes and pretty blonde hair. I like your hair. What’s that you got there?”

 

…

 

“E.. Eel-Elector… Electro Luh… Lux? It’s Lux? Electro Lux? Looks like some kinda fancy floor sweeper. That’s real nice to have here. You could clean up the whole world with a big ol’ sweeper like that. Suck it all up and throw it all away. Start the whole thing over again. Not that there was anything much here to begin with…”

 

…

 

“You got a nice view’a it all from here. You must’a been here since before any’a this shitsorm. You remember what any’a it use’ta be like? I bet there were people from all ‘round the world right here in this spot, all lookin’ up at you and wantin’ that sweeper you got too. I bet there was businessmen from China and Japan and I bet there were famous actors and stuff from France and wherever. I bet that subway use’ta run all day with thousans’a people on it all the time goin’ everywhere. I bet that pile a rubble is where a big ol’ fountain or somethin’ use’ta be, and everyone’d come by and sit it and talk and meet up and all. That’s the kinda stuff Jessie woulda saw. What’d you see before Rose? What was all ‘round here when you were first put here Rose?”

 

…

 

“Huh, Maybe there just never was anything here. Maybe there wasn’t anything anywhere really. Guess I’ll just never know… I hope I’m not too forward is askin’ to stay the night.”

 

 

 

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

 

 

“Goooood morning beautiful. Y’know, I haven’t had such a good sleep in a while now. It sure was real nice talkin’ to you yesterday. I’d sure love to stick around here for a while, supposin’ of course you have no issues with me or anything.”

 

…

 

“Gosh Rose, that sure is lovely of you. I really think this is a swell idea. I’ll leave most’a my stuff here with you. You can always help yourself to a snack a’course.”

 

…

 

“Where am I goin’? Just into the city, look around, see if I can find something worth anything out here. We gotta have a proper meal. Right about now I’d be eaten my bowl of Applejacks in the kithen. Yup, we gotta have ourselves a proper breakfast. Without a proper breakfast, you can’t get nothin’ done! Appljacks is a proper breakfast.”

 

…

 

“No. You’re right. I doubt there’s anything worthwhile out here.”

 

…

 

“Oh shucks, a’course you’re worth somethin’, but if we don’t got any food we’re gonna do nothing but starve out here. I’m just lookin’ out for the both’a us now. You know any places ‘round here where I can get somethin’ta eat?”

 

…

 

“Guess I’ll just find my way around then. Stay beautiful Rose.”

 

 

 

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

 

 

“Have you been here all day?”

 

…

 

“I’m exhausted.”

 

…

 

“Better take my shoes off I guess.”

 

…

 

“You sure me stayin’ here’s fine an’ all?”

 

…

 

“Oh good! I was beginnin’ to think you didn’t like me or somethin’ like that.”

 

…

 

“Lemme tell you one thing Rose; I don’t know if you’ve ever walked around here much but this place is huge. Everyone at home been talkin’ ‘bout goin’ to the big city. It was all magical-like. Like goin’ to Disney World or somethin’. I mean, even now after all’a this, it really is somethin’. It might have been somethin’ else great once but who knows anymore. Y’know Jessie talked ‘bout the city a lot. Her daddy was a businessman or somethin’ of the like, so they got to go into the city all the time.”

 

…

 

“You bet! This city right here! Where else does any business man wanna go anyhow? Yeah, her daddy sure was smart. He taught me lots ‘bout business and what its like to work for fat cats’n big ol’ companies’n stuff. He always told me it wasn’t really for me, that I should just be a locksmith like my daddy, but I always thought I’d be a pretty good businessman like he was. I might not got the brains he had, but everyone always tells me how polite I am and how nice I am to talk to’n stuff. Yes ma’am, I am one charming boy they all say. My momma told me it ain’t never gonna get me out’a no trouble, but a few times in school I dipped some hair in my ink well ‘cause the boy next to me thought it was real funny, and I never got caught none by my teachers, or if I did they did, they didn’t really care none.”

 

…

 

“Oh he just sat next to me in class a lot; he was real nice. Sam.”

 

…

 

“He was a real pal. Sam’n I would always come to school together from the bus stop. We were on different busses, but they both stopped about a block from the school, and we would wait for each other by the stop if we came a little after the other. Yes ma’am, a true friend he was. We use’ta walk home from school too, on the nicer days. His house was far from mine, and at the opposite side of town, but he’d walk with me and say he was gonna’ get something from the store right by. I don’t really think he ever did though. Hell in the mornin’ if he had time he’d stop by for a bowl’a cereal. He liked frosted flakes but I told him we only had Applejacks, but he just said he couldn’t have ‘em. Never said why. He was a lonely kid. The other kids at school made fun of him a lot, so I didn’t really like to hang out with him inside school. I use’ta avoid kids a lot. I wasn’t picked on or nothin’, I just liked to be alone; I liked it when kids didn’t really know I exist. Sam knew though. I couldn’t get away from Sam.”

 

…

 

“Nah, we all three didn’t really hang out. Sam’n Jessie use’ta be friends, that’s how I met Jessie. I think Sam’n Jessie were goin’ steady for a bit, but then I think they broke up. It must’a pretty bad ‘cause they never really talked to each other. Sam was a queer little fella’, but real kind and real nice. I always used to think so at least.”

 

…

 

“Oh, I almost forgot I had all this stuff. Nah, it’s just stuff I found that I thought looked cool, nothin’ like food or nothin’. Nothin’ worth anything for real.”

 

…

 

“Oh, Well Lookie here, I got this little toy aircraft carrier I found floatin in the water around where that big’un is. It was the ‘Epid’ I think, couldn’t really read it so well from under the water. I think it use’ta say the name on the side of this one, but its all faded. Hell if I know, it was neat though. Here’s a little statue’a that lady with the torch in’er hand. My daddy always told me she use’ta be brown, but cause she was by the water she turned all green. Must be plants or somethin’ growin’ on’er. Whatever it is. Everyone changes eventually I guess somehow. Y’know sometimes I think the people must’a been pretty mad when she turned all green. Why’d she gotta go and change on everyone like that?”

 

…

 

“Oh, sorry, Let’s see… hmm… This is just a whistle or somethin’ I think… Here’s an ol’ typewriter key with a ‘S’ on it I found in some building. Doesn’t mean much I guess, unless you just like the letter ‘S’. Or unless you got summore letters to make somethin’ worthwhile out’a it.”

 

…

 

“Oh! I found a locksmith shop just like my daddy’s! The door was locked but there was a big hole in the back where a big bus went into it and the bricks fell all apart. I got all this stuff my daddy showed me how to use. Here’s a torque wrench " that’s for turnin’ the keyhole so that the pins can rest on it a bit. Here’s a single pick, its for pushin’ up on the pins so that they all line up so they key hole can turn. Here’s a Bogota rake, this was daddy’s favorite. Daddy’d take nearly 20 seconds max to get open a stubborn door with this and a wrench. Daddy always said no door was really locked. Anything can be a key if you can make it work. One door can be opened by a lotta different things, and one thing can open lots’a doors. He said he got into being a locksmith just like pickin’ a lock. Everyone else had the key: a good connection, an apprenticeship, good money to pay to live near your work. He taught himself on his own, feelin’ it out one by one, figurin’ out what needed to be done so that he could get done what he wanted and such. And then, when he had learned everything and set all the pins, the dream just kind’a happened.”

 

…

 

“Yeah, although I guess you just gotta hope that whatever lock your pickin’ is worth getting past. Daddy always said you never know whats gonna be on the other side of some’a these doors. He said one time he was hired by the town to get into this ol’ ladies house. He said he would do it but he didn’t like getting in anywhere without the owners permission, but she was gone for a long time so he had to he said. He said he opened the door and she was passed away on her couch, all her cats eatin away at her. I guess if you’re gonna lock your door all the time and not let anyone in stuff like that can happen, you can just kinda die like that and no one would know.”

 

…

 

“Oh, well I sure can, not too well though, it takes me couple’a minutes usually, dependin’ on what I got with me. Momma wanted me to take over the shop so daddy had to teach me, but daddy always told me I should go to school. Daddy’d say that I gotta put in the work to school so that I could be a doctor or a politician or someone who could change the world. I didn’t care much about that, I would’a been fine just helpin’ people get in to their own homes, y’know?”

 

…

 

“No, it’s not too noble I guess.”

 

…

 

“Well what did you ever wanna do up here anyway?”

 

…

 

“That doesn’t mean anythin’. That’s just as pointless as pickin’ locks. Everything is.”

 

…

 

“It is though. I promise you I’ve tried it all and it’s all just pointless. Bad stuff happens no matter what you do to try and help.”

 

…

 

“There’s nothin’ for me anywhere.”

 

…

 

“You’re right, it’s late.”

 

…

 

“G’night Rose.”

 

…

 

 

 

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

 

 

“G’mornin’ Rose. Seems like a nice mornin’”

 

…

 

“I dunno, probably go around more, I’m gonna really dig through some super-marts and stuff like that. I think I might be able to find some food.”

 

…

 

“I’m hungry.”

 

…

 

“I’m real hungry.”

 

…

 

“I’ll head out then.”

 

…

 

“Alright, goodbye Rose. I love you.”

 

…

 

 

 

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

 

 

“Looky here! Looky here! I got us some real food!”

 

…

 

“Applejacks, Rose! Applejacks! I haven’t had these in forever!”

 

…

 

“Oh Rosie. Oh Rose. You sure are in for a treat! Have some’a these.”

 

…

 

“It’s good right?”

 

…

 

“I knew you’d think so! Everyone loves Apple Jacks. Just a fact of nature… That is a’course ‘til its not”

 

…

 

“Sometimes nature’s weird.”

 

…

 

“Haha you can sure say that again! My daddy use’ta say that all the time.“

 

…

“You two woulda liked each other.”

 

…

 

“Yeah I think so. He always knew what to say. He was a big man but he never wouldn’t’ of hurt or scared nobody. He was always happy and relaxed, ‘cept he had a real sore spot for things with my mom. One time some drunk guy came to our house and started yelling at the window. He said something about my aunt patty and how this b***h of a woman stole their baby away when he left. I was little, my daddy didn’t want me to hear none of it so he put me in the basement. Daddy let the guy in but the guy wanted to come into the basement so daddy knocked him out clean. daddy said there wouldn’t be none’a that no more. He said the mistake was lettin’ him in in the first place. Daddy said not to let people in anymore.”

 

…

 

“Yeah that was scary, I saw his face when they were takin’ him outa the house. He just looked real sad an’ angry. And he yelled at the window but I couldn’t hear what he was sayin’.”

 

…

 

“Huh?”

 

…

 

“Wait what was that?”

 

…

 

“I’m sorry Rose, I really just can’t hear ya.”

 

…

 

“Oh! Yea all the time, usually I put milk in it but there’s not really milk around here. Not ‘less you can find a cow!”

 

…

 

“I never was too funny I guess, but I always crack up at those jokes.”

 

…

 

“Well I’m glad you still like it; Jessie and I use’ta eat it all the time.”

 

…

 

“Sure did.”

 

…

 

“How ‘bout we have some more in the mornin’. I’m awful tired right now.”

 

…

“G’night Rose.”

 

…

 

“Yes Rose. I love you.”

 

…

 

“Yes.”

 

 

 

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

 

 

“Goooooood Mornin’ Rose!”

 

…

 

“I snuck out to see if I could find some milk before we ate any cereal. Sure must’a been crazy to think I could find any cause its all bad by now, but I tried!”

 

…

 

“Haha, I guess I am feelin’ pretty chipper this morning.”

 

…

 

“Yea, it certainly would be better with milk, but we got what we got! And luckily for once I got somethin’ instead of nothin’.”

 

…

 

“Yea, Jessie and me.”

 

…

 

“No… I never ate none with Sam… Why’d ya ask?

 

…

 

“No, I didn’t feel like that ever.”

 

…

 

“What are you doin’ Rose?”

 

…

 

“Do you not like the Apple Jacks? I can try’an find somethin’ else.”

 

…

 

“Jessie an’ I’d eat’em when we ran away, is that what you wanted to know?”

 

…

 

“Yeah, we tried to run away once. How’d you even know that?”

 

…

 

“Yeah well she was just mad at her daddy for tellin’ her she couldn’t paint for s**t and that it wasn’t gonna help none to hang out with a retard all day.”

 

…

 

“Well f**k you if you think he was right. Pardon my language Rose, but you never acted like this before and I don’t like it.”

 

…

 

“Why do people change? Why do people always gotta change on you.”

 

…

 

“Well they all do. They all did Rose. They all did and I thought you were different.”

 

…

 

“Why you gotta make me so mad today.”

 

…

“Yeah we ran away. We stayed a few nights in that big ol’ empty airplane hanger. It was cold but we could hold each other to keep warm.”

 

…

 

“Whadya mean? No I didn’t do nothin’ like that; I never would do nothin’ like that.”

 

...

“Yea maybe she did, what’s it matter to you?”

 

…

 

“She kissed me.”

 

…

 

“Yeah and she started touchin’ me.”

 

…

 

“I didn’t like it! Yeah, big surprise right, the retard doesn’t even know what he’s suppose’ta like. Well I didn’t like it. I told her to stop it and that I didn’t wanna do that and she started’ta cry.”

 

…

 

“Well I didn’t wanna make her cry! She made me! Why’d she have to change like that on me? Why does everyone gotta change like that.”

 

…

 

“I told my dad what happened.”

 

…

 

“With the running away… and with the kissing.”

 

…

 

“I told him I made her stop. I thought they’d be happy with that.”

 

…

 

“He talked with my mom and they yelled for a while.”

 

…

 

“Yeah well she just started callin’ me her f****t son, so I didn’t know what after that.”

 

…

 

“How would you know that?”                     

 

…

 

“Yeah, I saw Sam a few days later. I hadn’t been going to school so he came to my house one night. He made me come down and talk to him.”

 

…

 

“Yeah, he said he heard about it. He told me it was ok and that he understood the feeling. That felt nice, y’know? I always knew he was nice, but he really got me I felt. So we went on a little walk.”

 

…

 

“Yeah, it was dark, and cold.”

 

…

 

“He started tellin’ me about what happened. He said some people just don’t work that way. He said it wasn’t wrong but it was different. But we could be different together.”

 

…

 

“Well yea I wanted that. I wanted someone. I always wanted someone Rose. ‘fact, that’s all I’ve ever wanted. I just wanted someone to be mine. I thought Sam’n I could do good together, cause he really got me. Then he leaned towards me and he told me he was gonna show me what it was like to feel right. He kissed me. I guess I just thought that it was for the best, cause if I didn’t like it with Jessie I had to like it with Sam. It wouldn’t be the same without Jessie’s paintin’s an’ all. But this is what I had now.”

 

…

 

“Then he grabbed me. He grabbed me real hard. He was a little guy, compared to me that is, but he grabbed me so hard. He pulled me tight and pushed hard on me. I didn’t like it. I don’t get why but I didn’t like it. I’m an adult and I should like these things but I didn’t. I’m supposed to like one or the other but I didn’t like it. He tried to push me down but I wouldn’t budge. He took his pants off and he tried to take off my belt. I didn’t know what else to do. I took a big rock and I swung it at his head. I was so scared; I just kept swingin’ until I realized he wasn’t moving anymore.”

 

…

 

“I didn’t kill him.”

 

…

 

“I didn’t feel like I killed him.”

 

…

 

“So I ran! What in the hell was I suppose’ta do!? I ran home and I went back to bed with blood still on my shirtsleeve an’ everything.”

 

…

 

“I wasn’t sure if it happened when I woke up. I thought maybe it was a dream. But My Applejacks didn’t taste the same no more. I couldn’t have them.”

 

…

 

“Next thing I knew my daddy was pickin’ me up by my shirt collar and yellin’ at me, ‘What’d you do to that poor girl!? What’d you do god damn it!?’ He and my mom just cried after that. I guess Jessie was beaten pretty bad and left in her back yard overnight. She got some kinda infection. Somethin’ like that. I couldn’t see it right. I tried to tell them I didn’t do nothin’ but they saw the blood on my shirt and couldn’t hear me no more.”

 

…

 

“Whadya mean what happened? This shitstorm happened!”

 

…

 

“My momma called the police on me so my daddy put me down in the big cement bunker in the back. We all were gettin’em since everyone heard about them crazy fantastics gangin’ up with the Russians. That’s somethin’ I knew from the news. I saw that part while I ate the Applejacks Rose. My daddy didn’t think I knew anything. But I knew that.”

 

…

 

“Then what? Well then it happened. I was in there and I just waited while everyone yelled outside. Then there was a huge bang. Everything got red and it all shook and things started falling. A big trunk full of soup came off the shelf and hit me in the head and… and… and that was the end of it.

 

…

 

“That’s it. By the time I came too and got up the nerve to step outside everything was gone. There were no bodies, no trees, nothing living. I went to Jessies back yard but I couldn’t see any Jessie. Everything was gone.”

 

…

“Why would I have cared? Everything was already gone, Rose.  Everything goes away always. Jessie, the paintings, the hanger, it’s all gone. Everything I see is just somethin’ else in the world that I already lost. You were the only thing I had, the only new thing in this desert of crap and rubble. And now you’re gone too.”

 

…

 

“Yeah, well I guess everything’s natural state is to move towards nothing I guess. Just always goin’ towards lifelessness and solitude.”

 

…

 

“We were all already gone, Rose. All’a us. Everyone just changed. They were filled with all these crazy things that changed them. But I never changed Rose. I never changed cause I never had anything in me.”

 

…

 

“Y’know I thought right after it happened that I would just take this gun and shoot myself. I didn’t cause I thought I could find someone else. But you’re not here Rose; you never were here. You couldn’ta changed cause you never were here at all.”

 

…

 

“What now? I got nothin’ in me, so nothin’ really matters now does it. All that’s gonna change is instead of havin’ nothing in me I’m gonna have Apple jacks in my belly and 5 millimeters of lead in my skull.”

 

…

 

“Maybe I’m suppose’ta do this. Maybe that’s just nature. To just go towards the nothingness. None’a this had to happen if you didn’t wanna open me up Rose. I could’a just existed like I was. Maybe I’m suppose’ta just off myself right here and right now. Maybe that’s what nature wants.”

 

…

 

“I can’t have it no more Rose. I can’t have it no more. It just doesn’t work. It don’t fit. It won’t go in it won’t stay the way I put it. Nothin’ wants to be the way I wanna put it. I can’t do anythin’ Rose. I can’t do a single thing. It ain’t right Rose. My head ain’t right and I gotta blow it apart. I gotta get rid of it. I gotta get rid of all of it.”

 

…

 

“Can… Can you help me… Rose?… Can you help me… Please?… Rose?…”

 

…

 

“…”

 

…

Author's Note

-Does the character make sense? Is he believable?
-Is everything written important and relevant? Is there anything that sticks out as wildly unimportant?
-Does the format read well? Does the situation seem obvious by the end of the story?
-Does the situation seem to obvious before the end of the story?

Please feel free to add any other comments if you have already been gracious enough to read. Anything and everything you have to say can and will be helpful.

This is a work in progress.