A Waterfall of Thoughts

Story in the form of poems

I watch as the rain falls from the open night sky, dropping lost tears. I listen as the wind whistles its sad song through the night.



The non existent gap between my thighs parts it's lips calling out my flaws, the ones like nails on a chalkboard. It mimics the voices of shadows who whisper incoherent things in hallways. Long paths leading to more lonely destinations the farther you walk. Each step becomes a burden and each breath turns more shallow than the next. Your eyes and ears start to deceive you seeing words splashed across walls only to feel the slick black ink disappear at your touch. Then you hear a sound, a word, no a name. The innocent letters from your childhood formed together by an individual's lips to spit out venom that wraps around your soul like s crimson thorn covered vine ready to prick anything that gets in its way. You stumble backwards, unsure what to do. A second later your surroundings mild carefully into a clear blue, you reach out to touch this newly unfamiliar color only to find a glass wall. You're in a box. A cage. You open your mouth forming a scream that fails to escape as it becomes muffled, swallowed by water drowning your thoughts to the bottom of the cage where they cling to your legs pulling you down with them. Falling, sinking to the bottom and you hit the floor.

The sudden jolt forces your eyes open and you blink until you realise you never left. You only fell to the hard concrete ground where no one offers any help just a few side glances and laughs. You lift yourself then bend down to rub the bruise on your ankle where a stranger's leg shot out just moments ago when you passed by in those "very lonely hallways". Your foot rises from the ground as you unwillingly take a step forward, continuing on with a day that'll leave a lingering bitter taste in it's wake.

People can be horrible creatures sometimes, almost like demons.

The bell rings and you hurry off to class only daring to glance up as you approach the room full of students who stare as you walk in. You feel their eyes on you and you rush to the back, sighing with relief as you sink into your seat. Safe at last.

The bell rings again and you continue this over and over again for the next few classes until lunch.

Finally, after long seconds, excruciating minutes, and dreary hours lunch time arrives. You happily walk out of class barely noticing the creeping anxiety lurking behind you reminding you of all the people who surround you in the halls. (Well actually a more accurate term is they pass by you in the halls, probably not even looking over as they go about their day but that's not what anxiety wants you to think). Once you reach your destination you can't help but wonder what it would be like to not do the same thing everyday, what it would be like to not feel the lockers cutting into your back as you slide against them onto the floor and drop your bag hearing it plop to the ground. It's echo against the walls telling you, you are alone. What would it be like for someone to not walk past you sitting alone everyday, and instead for someone to walk up and say, "Hi, would you mind if I sit down?". What would it be like to make a friend? What would it be like to have a friend you can eat lunch with? Wait. What is a friend? How do you find one? Do you just go up to anyone? What if they don't like you?

Chapter One

I shake my head and let theses thoughts tumble away to the back of my mind where they collect dust and create cobwebs over the next few days.

I make a conscious decision to no longer let anxiety get its way. No longer let it overcome and consume me. It's okay to be alone, it's safe to be alone. "I don't need to care what anyone else has to say" I think to myself as the locker rooms start to fill with people getting ready for their gym class, "I just have to be myself and everything will be okay."

The next morning the cold wind sneaks into my room through the window and whistles its way around the inside of the surrounding walls. I tug the blanket closer to my body keeping the cold air from caressing my skin with its ice cold touch.
I sigh and rip the blanket off over me like a band-aid and hop out of bed. The floor feels like an ice skating rink underneath my feet and my arms shiver from the cool morning breeze. It's still pretty close to pitch black dark out so when I turn around to catch my reflection in the mirror an outline of a shadow stands in front of me with ghost like eyes that stare back into mine. I sweep my hair back into a messy bun and fix a few untamed curls that refuse to be apart of my long strands of straight hair.

When the morning is over and I walk out the door ready to head to school I glance down at the ground then look up to the sky where a lone star still sits in its place. The poetic voice that's always in my head tells me how beautiful the star really is, how it's not lost or forgotten but yet a soul still holding onto the memory of the night sky from just hours before. I think about how I'm like that star, still holding onto every beautiful thing not wanting to let it go. Demons can be a beautiful thing (just like the night sky), and this time I'm ready to let mine go.

I smile and walk off the porch looking forward to the endless number of opportunities the day ahead hold for me.



Chapter Two

As I step off the porch and my foot touches the ground....the whiplash hits me before the bullet

Spinning around on my feet so fast I can't catch my breath and with the water falling across my face from the rain, I slip and brace myself up with my right arm against the porch. A Red trickle of blood drops down my arm with the rainwater and the corners of my vision blur. The pain doesn't come right away but when it does the empty hole in my chest out like a knife carving out my lungs.
My black and white world that recently turned grey is now soaked in red.


Chapter Three

One singular tear runs down across my cheek and stains my pale white skin like a red lipstick kiss.

Who knew a life could change faster than a heartbeat and a blink of an eye?
When you said you'd be there for me did you know that a life could change faster than you broke my heart. I write that as a statement because the answer is already known.


Chapter Three

The pain was like nothing you could ever imagine with your mind alone. The realness of the physical hurt is worse than you ever could of thought on your own.
I'm confused. Sad. And I don't know what to do with this literal hole in me causing me to bleed out these words and strange red substance.
Blue and red lights appear down the driveway in front of me and mindless figures race over to attend to me, carrying me away if as simply as an everyday routine.


Chapter Four

Its as if no one hears me when I say, "Yes I'm fine". Or when I reply to stern and mumbled "what happened"s with my raw but honest, "I don't know". Like somehow I knew why this is all happening to me and by withholding theses answers I have not a single grasp on I'm suddenly responsible for my life increasing rapidly from falling apart to tumbling down.