In the Night, he Touched me

In the Night, he Touched Me…

He slithered,
Slippery between my sheets
Praying on the captivity of my dreams.

Slinking his way towards my resting frame,
His fingers graze along my silken thighs
Thieving liberties I frostily denied.

Those dastardly digits so dastardly close
Stripped of barriers, you subtracted the distractions
Your hand sunk home to that gentle flesh.

Into a horror trance I descended into hell
Sapping immaculacy with each of your gestures
So close, So close you thought to your goal.

Push that hurdle further
Pants cascaded to the earth
Clamping my eyes, a dream, nothing more!

Dawn arrived
You held your station in my bed
Swirled with the dreams you robbed me of.

Horror crept,
Fear coated my actions drastic in my motions
Exposed to the whites of your eyes

The words where there
Air crunching as the cold chill hit my lungs
And with that gasp

My words cried Foul.

 

 

 

Author's Note

Reviews are Always welcome. Im working hard to get my poems up to par. =D

Reviews

[Clockwork]

This is a very dark piece. There is real horror hear and that makes the piece live. One suggestion I have is for stanza three. I think that the repetition of dastardly is a little redundant. I think with a new words there that part of the poem could become stronger. Overall your words choices were good, and that made for a nice piece.

[Orlando Murcia]

Wow very deep sexy and dark
all at the same time

A very great write with
different feelings and emotions
in it

Awesome!

Orlando M

[Collette]

Such a hard topic to discuss, many people would find it difficult to muster the courage in talking about events as such. I think you've done an excellent job here: full of poise and passion. Great write!

[Silvario]

A very exciting and well written piece. I really enjoyed this. Your diction was elegant, creative, pleasantly fast-paced and easy to follow. Loved your descriptions.

Very well done indeed. :)

[Brandon]

Very strong piece. Very well done.

[Jillian]

A Passionate write. the passion and emotion behind each line moves me. I cat wait to read more of your work.

[Josh Shepherd]

Very gripping, very haunting, very sad. Some darkness behind every line.

[Katherine Wyatt]

"Air crunching as the cold chill hit my lungs
And with that gasp"
ust one of many lines that are very gripping.. Overall a fantastic piece!

[Brianna Brie]

Those dastardly digits so dastardly close
He slithered,
Slippery between my sheets
Praying on the captivity of my dreams
Into a horror trance I descended into hell
Sapping youth with each of your gestures

Clever bend in your use of words. I notice the use of words that start with the same letter strategically placed. Don't know if it was intentional or not, but it does work well to add to the flow. It has such a foul energy to it. Could be taken as child abuse. Superbly written!

[rootzpoet]

Your poetry conjured up very clear images in my mind. I think it i s a wonderful piece of work. Keep on writing. I am looking forward to more.