Spring Showers

Spring Showers

 

The day rears its golden head

Entangled in your arms

We swim in the shadows the morning rays cast

 

A glimpse of flesh, a stench of promiscuity

Our voice abused, our bodies flagging

 

We throw light upon the foundation

 

The bitter tiles, like rivers of frostbite on my back

The tame mist,

Ebbing away the evidence of our concupiscence

 

Murmurs on our skin

Echo’s in our ears

 

“I Love you…”

 

Author's Note

Reviews are always appriciated!! Poetry isnt my strong suit so im working hard to improve on it!

Reviews

[Moonlit-Blues]

Is the past tense supposed to be there? Or is it meant to be present tense? 'Entangled', in the second line and 'rears' in the first. Just a point of confusion, there. Lovely visuals, lovely poem! (might want to look at the tense though!)

[The Elder Pine]

"The bitter tiles, like rivers of frostbite" What an abstract image! I love your style and your form as well as your message. You are beginning to become one of my favorites.

[Travis Lawrence]

This is a metaphor for meeting someone new and having it progress, right? Or am I way off?

Either way, great abstract images ... swim in the shadows ... throw light on the foundation ... rivers of frostbite on my back ... murmors in our skin ...

Those are just awesome poetic lines. I disagree with your note, you are a strong poet, I can tell by reading only this one piece.

Have a nice day!