Sister Companions

Old. I used this in an audition for Arts High School last year.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sister Companions

 

Pencil and paper

My writing silences the crowd

My words shake the foundations that the simple minded hold dear

A world so passioned and spirited about nothing yet everything

When the humans howl like beasts, and the beasts walk like man

A mixed up world of society’s mishaps and mistakes dressed up like dolls to paint a picture

When my words are spoken to the silent crowd a tear spills from a woman’s eye

A tear for loss, a tear for gain, and a tear for how the world has fallen

It moves me, and causes me to ponder

Are my words too much, or to little

Does my passion and soul just travel through their ears and drone in their brain like a life stealing cancer?

And soon I find myself crying

Unable to utter another word

The crowd shouts and boo’s but my eyes are unmoving

Focused on the site before me

We stand, companions, in this monotonous hell together

Sisters with our tears
In a sea of thousands

 

Reviews

[Don Coorough]

"When the humans howl like beasts, and the beasts walk like man" What an amazing line! Here's another one, "A mixed up world of society's mishaps and mistakes dressed up like dolls to paint a picture." Then, you unleash this one, "Does my passion and soul just travel through their ears and drone in their brain like a life stealing cancer?" And in so doing, you make me weep at the soaring truth, that no one can enlighten another, each person must find their own truth in their own way and time. Then, finally, you grab us by the throat and let us see that none of us knows anything, all we can be is a sister in tears or a mindless automaton of the masses when you say, "We stand, companions, in this monotonous hell together/Sisters with our tears/In a sea of thousands." And I must go wash my face with your sisters, though I am male. Beautiful write! - EllisD

Well written! I like what you have to say. A very powerful poem!

[[untitled]]

This is good. I have to agree with the other reviewers, this poem says a lot. There is a lot of depth to the words. Great job.

[An owl on the moon]

Such a depth to your work; words and works judged on the stage. Our beliefs and notions condemned or praised in front of the crowd of humanity. Yet we find those who unite with us. Brilliant write!!!

[Mariah]

I really like this. It actually made me think. It didn't just give me something, it compelled me to use my brain. Fascinating, I'm also a fan of the title.

[poddar kushal]

a very personal poetry. i do think you should be an ambitious poet

[Mary Balfanz]

I'm not a poet but I think this is very good. It has such feeling.

[THE BLACK SEAL]

tis was definately unique. i rather enjyed it

[LostCauze[:P]]

A descriptive, unique and beautiful piece, you have written something that i would have never of thought of. Im guessing that it is what makes you unique that you are able to write how the writer feels as a writer instead of the usual how the writer feels about situations, him/herself, subjects and etc. The words you've chosen are stunning. Don't think that im saying that your poem is absolutely amazing, im saying its good and im sure seeing as how its old, my expectations of your new work is probably better. But other than that i have no critique for this poem besides commas and periods to know where to stop and pause. Good write. :]

[Baby Boy]

Such a powerful and deep write this is gurl! From top to bottom it is breathtaking! You sure do have a magic pen sweetie and I'm looking forward to read more from you! Great job Miss Steffi! One luv gurl! :)


-JC-