Unfinished

This poem describes how I cannot see through the eyes of my lover, yet I can still love her.

The overwhelming feeling washes over me
For how is love when hate cannot be?
Step to the clad of the boots of she
Whilst she bites the fingers of the hand that feeds

What is love but a selfish act?
What is anything to be exact?
If I speak the feel, how will she react?
To lie and be happy is the perfect tact.

Why does she get angry?
Why does she yell at me?
So quiet but a victim is she
So upset and the hero is me

Why won't she stay happy?
Is it them or is it me?
The young men who violated she
Are but a mere hatred, but a love of she

Why does she still love?
Is it me, what is above?
What sees she a dove?
Not me though I still love.

Author's Note

Please give any help, thank you!

Reviews

[dan]

the writer of woe, or WOW: I am going to accept your friend request. On your profile you ask not to be judged due to your age. I'm 58, so I ask the same thing. BTW, this piece? A very plaintive write about the universal poetic requirement, LOVE. After I accept your friendship you may want to review one of mine, "Love is...." Scroll down my list till you find it. In it I try to define love. I tried really, really hard; I still am working on that. It's a decent facsimile of a definition, though. Keep writing! take care...dan

[the writer of woe]

Alright I'll check it out. Keep checking for word from me!

[dan]

Can I call you wow for short? I just want to let you know that it's hard for me to keep up with all of my "pay it forward" reviewing, due to the amount of friends. Since we are now friends, I urge you to send read requests if there is something you'd like me to review. I'll do the same. take care...dan

[the writer of woe]

Everyone does already, so yes.

[Octavious]

I think that this was well worded out, and I like the Shakespearean kind of taste that you put in the writing for this piece, because it really makes the reader think deeper into the words, and what is ACTUALLY being said in the piece.Even though there were such few words in this poem, there was a full story of conflict, resolution and question, which is (1) hard to accomplish, and (2) extremely intense, and impressive. I as a reader enjoyed and appreciated this piece for all that it was and more, so thank you for sharing your works with us all,and i wish you the best of lucks with your writing.

[the writer of woe]

Thanks a lot Octavious! I really enjoyed reading your review because it made me feel as if you really did appreciate my writing!

[Octavious]

Believe me I did, great job :)

[Bobbi Duffy]

I love this. It's so open and human. Sometimes the people we love the most are the hardest to understand or explain.

[the writer of woe]

Thanks for the review Bobbi!

[Sir_Lansonlot]

I think there is a lot to be said here and it feels like you want to say more than you are because of the rhyme scheme. Personally, I would just do away with the rhyme scheme all together because you aren't able to get the proper clarity for such a work like this. I enjoyed the sentiment and I had no problems deciphering your overall vibe, so you don't have any problems thematically, in my opinion. I'm going to go read more stuff of yours!

[ANTO]

We love that which we dont often understand - just look at religion ! Its as though we are hard-wired to love a mystery and this poem conveys, very well, the sense of bewilderment and self-reproach the speaker feels - more often asking, "Wtf am I doing here. Am I mad!" and it is a form of madness to be in love but it is the most beautiful form of madness (I think I paraphrased TKLittle there).
I am mad as a box of frogs when love calls but couldnt care less when im in love because the feeling is such that I am freed from these Earthly bonds. Its well worth it! As your last line bears witness to.
"Not me though I still love" (perhaps you could insert a semi colon between 'though' and I' here WOW).
Good luck! :))

[the writer of woe]

Thanks, I will take the semi colon into consideration, but I read it a different way as I was writing. A way like, "not me, though I still love."
I was saying I don't see the dove she sees, yet I still love her. But I know changing it to say I still love in general could work. Let me ponder and I'll see what I do!

[ANTO]

Cool my friend YVW - Yes I see. The comma after though will give a pause - another way would be to italicise the 'I' to accentuate it. Thanks for the feedback WOW ! :))

[the writer of woe]

Yes thank you. I'll take that into consideration.