The Untold Story of Quasar Chapter 3

Aislinn Walker doesn't know what she's getting herself into as she asks her friend, Justice, to bring an antique Witch board to her welcome home party. Aislinn and her high school buddies, as well as a few new friends, learn a dark secret about their home

 

Chapter 3

A few hours later the house is filled with people.  Everyone who was invited comes to the party.  Laughter and chatter fills the room.  Aislinn looks around the room with a smile.  She is glad to see all of her friends again.  All but one person is enjoying themselves.

Aislinn heads over to Colin, who is sitting all alone in the corner.

“You alright?” Aislinn asks.

“Yeah, I just didn’t realize there would be this many people and I have no idea where Jonathan is,” Colin says.

“A lot of people scare you?”

“No, I’m just not all that great with meeting new people.  Jonathan is the only one I know.”

“Well you know me now.”

“I knew you before I got here today.”

“How’s that?” Aislinn asks.

“Jonathan has told me so much about you.  When he heard about this party, he wouldn’t stop going on about you to me.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you not know or you don’t want to tell me?”

“Maybe you could help me find Jonathan, isn’t it almost time for your little surprise?”

“Hey don’t try to change the subject; oh wait, what time is it?”

“It’s quarter to twelve.” 

“Oh s**t, yeah, let’s go find the others.”

They search the party looking for everyone.  Each of them is sent to the stairs where Justice is already waiting.

“This everyone?” Justice asks.

“Umm I believe so.”  Aislinn says.

“Alright then,” Justice says and then heads up the stairs.

“So what is it that we’re doing?”  Jonathan asks.

“You’ll see,” Aislinn says.

They get to the top of the stairs; Justice stops.

The temperature has dropped dramatically and there is a feeling of dread in the air.  She can barely stand it.

“Are you alright Justice?”  Aislinn asks.

Justice shakes her head and then says, “Yeah I’m fine.  I just got a chill, that’s all.”

“Okay.”  Aislinn says.

Justice opens the door.  The candles are already lit.  Everyone sits around the table.  Joel, who has followed them into the room, knocks one of the candles out of place, which had been on the railing around the room.

“Wait it go klutz.  We’re trying not to get caught.”  Dru whispers.

“Who else is here?”  Aislinn asks.

“Good job a*s.”  Cory says as he punches Joel.

“Cory is that you?”  Aislinn asks.

“Yeah it’s me.”

“That must mean Dru and Joel are with you?”

“Of course we are.”  Dru and Joel say in unison.

“There are two more heads I don’t recognize in this light.”  Aislinn says.

“That’d be us.”  Dustin and his lover, Logan, say.

“Ah Dustin and who’s that with you?”  Aislinn asks.

“My latest boy toy of course.”

Logan punches him.

“Ow why’d you do that?”  Dustin asks.

“’Cause I’m not a boy toy.”  Logan says.

“Alright, alright geesh, so sensitive” Dustin says.

“So what are we doing here anyways?”  Joel says.

“I don’t know what you guys are doing here, but we’re here to use the Witch board.  I guess you guys can join in, just be quiet.”  Aislinn says.

“A Witch board?”  Dru asks.

“It’s like an Ouija only better, but there’s no time to explain it; so sit down or get out.”  Aislinn says.

Aislinn, Justice, Jonathan and Colin sit at the head of the table by the Witch board.  Deirdre sits to the left of them next to Aislinn, while Desmond sits next to Colin.

“Here use this to write down the questions and responses.”  Aislinn says as she hands Deirdre a notebook and pen.

“Alright, not like we’re going to get any responses anyways.  Do we even have any ghosts in this town?”  Deirdre says.

“Well if we do we’ll find out tonight.”  Jonathan says.

“Everyone ready?” Justice asks.

Jonathan, Colin, Justice and Aislinn put their hands on the planchette.  The others watch anxiously.

“We call upon the spirits who once lived in this town.”  Justice pauses and then continues, “Is there anyone here?”

They wait for a little while, but nothing happens.  Aislinn’s arm gets tired so she moves it to stretch it a little bit.  When she is stretching she accidentally bumps one of the candles.  No one notices, not even her.

Once Aislinn is done stretching Justice starts again.  “We call upon the spirits who once lived in this town.”  She pauses for a second, “Is there anyone here?”

They sit and wait, wondering if they are just wasting their time.  ‘Was it a dead cell, completely devoid of any spiritual energy whatsoever?’  They think to themselves.

They want a thrill and want there to be something interesting to go on in this town of theirs.  Just as they are about to give up the planchette starts moving towards the upper left side of the board.  It stops on the word, “yes”.  Excitement and fear flood the room.

“What is your name?”  Aislinn asks.

The planchette moves across the board.

Aislinn reads the letters as the planchette moves, “M-A-T-T-H-E-W, Matthew.”

Everyone is really excited.  Deirdre is writing down the questions and the answers just as she was asked to do.

Jonathan asks, “How did you die?”  He wants and then continues to read out loud, “M-U-R-D-E-R-E-D.”

Deirdre murmurs, “Murdered.”

The room goes silent.

“How old were you?”  Jonathan pauses and then reads the number, “9”.

Everyone is horrified by this revelation.  Jonathan is the only one who can speak.  He is curious since no one had heard of a murder in Quasar.

“Who killed you?”  He asks and then reads, “D-A-D-D-Y.”

“Daddy,” Deirdre mutters.

Jonathan goes silent.  He can never imagine a father killing his own son, especially not in Quasar, where he has lived his entire life.  Everyone is wondering why they have never heard of the boy before, or even heard of the incident.

After sitting there in silence for a bit, Colin gets ready to ask a question, but before he can, the planchette moves and points to “goodbye”.  Right then, the candles start to flicker.

Everyone sits still in silence, looking at each other.  None of them know what to do.  They are all just hoping the candles will not go out.  The room is completely silent.  Not a sound is to be heard in the room, or anywhere else in the house.

The only movement is that of the candle flames flickering.  Then, out of nowhere, the door starts to creak open very slowly.

Everyone is scared.  No one knows who or what could be opening the door.  The others are all asleep and they do not hear any footsteps before the door starts to open.  The candles are still flickering at this time.

Justice is holding her pentacle tightly with one hand and holding Aislinn’s hand with the other.  Everyone is holding onto someone.  The fear in the room is so sick that no spiritual knife can cut through it.

The lights outside the room have all been turned off.  It is completely dark in the house, except for the night lights in the bathrooms and the flickering candles in the room.  The door finally opens; they see nothing.

They can hear nothing.  This scares them even more.  Then a sound finally comes.  It is a sound they are not expecting to hear at all.  It is a “meow”.  The cat had nudged the door open.

“Stupid cat.”  Jonathan says.

Everyone busts out laughing.  All that fear is caused by a cat.  They cannot believe it.  Dustin had almost wet himself from fear and even more from laughing.

It appears that everything is fine and everyone feels a lot better after that.  The fear has gone away.  The cat starts hissing and growling at then air.  Her hair is sticking out as far as it can and her back is arched up like she is ready to attack.  Justice turns around and sees a pair of big red eyes looking back at her.

She gasps, and then the candles go out.  The cat bolts out of the room.  The eyes disappear, but the presence is still felt in the dark.  In the room, the temperature starts to drop.

Everyone has goose bumps and the hairs on the back of their necks are sticking up.  This presence is not that of Matthew.  This one is not friendly at all.  Everyone sits frozen, not knowing what to do.  Dustin passes out; he cannot handle it at all.  They are crippled from fear.  The only sound that can be heard is that of someone crying.

Once Justice can move she lights a candle again.  Right as she does that the planchette moves.

Justice reads, “W-A-L-K-E-R.”

Everyone looks at Aislinn Walker.  She sits there with nothing, but fear in her eyes.  She cannot figure out what a spirit with such an evil vibe would want with her. 

Justice says, “Who are you?”  And then reads, “D-A-D-D-Y.”

This does not make any sense, since Aislinn’s dad is still alive.  Aislinn pushes the board off the table.  She gets up and turns the hall light on.

“Come on, let’s get some sleep now.”  She says.

It has gotten late.  The sun is almost up.  They all go to bed, but no one is able to fall asleep until it is light out.  This experience is to haunt them for the rest of their lives and at this moment, they know it. 

Author's Note

Punctuation in dialogue is not my strong suit and Microsoft word hinders more than helps when dealing with dialogue.

Reviews

[Kathryn]

I've noticed a lot of grammatical errors dealing with punctuation in the dialogue. For example, in the following chunk, I've made [3] changes in brackets:

"You alright[?]" Aislinn asks.
"Yeah, I just didn't realize there would be this many people and I have no idea where Jonathan is[,]" Colin says.
"A lot of people scare you?"
"No, I'm just not all that great with meeting new people. Jonathan is the only one I know."
"Well you know me now."
"I knew you before I got here today."
"How's that[?]" Aislinn asks.

I'm not sure if you are aware of the "rules of punctuation in dialogue" but it may be something you want to look into since it seems like a big problem as I look through it.
Here's some good websites so that you can look through your mistakes and see what to correct- I don't have time to point them all out!
http://mrbraiman.home.att.net/page25.html
http://www.writing-world.com/fiction/dialogue.shtml
http://fictionwriting.about.com/od/writingexercises/qt/punctuation.htm

[Robert Francis Callaci]

Lots of potential to this story-

The prologue was a decent setup to the world the reader was about to set their eyeballs to. -

The first chapter was a good intro piece to the main characters of the story-

The second a good precursor to the horror that lies ahead-(Storms-warnings etc) as well as introducing secondary characters into the fold- a foretelling of things to come

The third so far the best- Introducing or giving a little taste of the coming horror that will slowly unfold upon our college heroes.

So far the setup is good -for a 12 little Indians type of supernatural thriller. Like any work in progress some tweaking is in order but the bones of the story is intact and has marketable merit. A good little horror story to curl up to before going to bed -

I liked how you used the Witch's or Ouija board as the the door that opens up the horror to come ahead. Playing with tools of the black arts is a dangerous thing- and the Ouija is a tool of the art- it can only wake things that are meant to stay asleep. Using it as a tool to entertain or impress can only lead to all sorts of things that the uninitiated will not be able to cope with. I like where the story is going....


my warmest
bob

[bluessadmood]

wow this is so nice you surely know how to pull up some horror scene ..i just loved this ..really,the way they all froze in their position all expecting some nasty surprise or some evil showing from nowhere..i will leave it to your imagination to go on with this..you started some nice exciting write ..i hope i could read the rest ,to show us what you are hiding for us..this could go so nicely
lovely write