Dream or Nightmare

What if you could never escape a dream?

Look I know you are not going to believe what I am about to tell you. I swear I don’t know what the hell is going on or why I am here. I don’t even know how I got here. Please you have to listen to me and help me.

It all started when I got this little artifact from my mother. She was in an expedition in Africa and sent it over to me. Apparently it was supposed to protect my dreams or at least that’s what she was told.

That night I put the artifact beside my bed and well I don’t think I ever woke up. I can’t even remember waking up. There was this weird dream. All I saw were millions of different colored lights. I thought they were pretty. Then when I looked closely at the lights, I could see something within them.

Within each ray of light there was a script of someone’s dream. It was weird, but yet beautiful. Later on I would come to describe it as creepy. The rays of lights kept passing me by. Each dream seemed happy. Then the bright lights started to get darker. I watched one of the dreams only to learn they were no longer dreams. They had become nightmares. Each seemingly happy dream had been reduced to a horrific nightmare.

Little did I know that my nightmare was just beginning. I watched as the darkness flew by me. One by one I’d hear a scream then the light would disappear. Each light disappeared until there was just one left. I looked at the light and to my surprise I saw me. This dream did not appear to be a nightmare, so why would I see myself in one? I had thought to myself. There was not any cause for it.

A few seconds later the light disappeared and left me in darkness. It seemed clear to me that I would be waking up soon. All the others screamed and then woke up. So I decided to scream to see if it could wake me. Nothing happened. The room stayed dark. Coldness was in the air as I started to walk, trying to find a way out.

Then I heard a noise in the distance. I thought it might be someone else who was trapped. Only to my dismay, it was not someone who was trapped. It was more like some thing that was trapped. I could not see it all that well. But I definitely heard it.

The creature made a sound like I had never heard before. It was not of the normal world that you and I live in. Or at least that I usually live in. Not sure what world exactly you would be from. The noises it made were not very welcoming and since this was a nightmare, I knew that, that meant to run.

So I did just that and ran as fast as I could. Where I was running to I did not know, for I could not see. Everything was so dark. I could not even see the ground I was walking on. Hell I was not even sure if I was walking on ground at all. It all seemed so surreal.

After awhile I got tired of running and had to stop. I had not heard the creature in awhile. I then decided to pinch myself, to see if I could wake up. It did not work. No matter what I did I was still in the darkness. Life just seemed non-existent.

I continued walking until I ran into something. I was happy to finally be able to feel something. When I figured out what it was, the smile I had made disappeared. It felt torn up and had lots of fluids all over it. I then proceeded to check my pockets to see if the dream had provided me with a lighter.

Apparently it did. I had wished that I had thought of that before. Then I lit the lighter to see my mother, torn to shreds. Her body was almost non-existent with pieces of clothing here and there. The only reason I knew it was her was because of the necklace she was wearing that I had given her for mother’s day. The fluid I had felt was her blood. I looked at myself and found out that I was covered in it.

In a way I wish I had never found that lighter. That image will be burnt into my brain forever. After I got over the shock of seeing my mother’s corpse, I started walking again. I had to find a way out. Now at least I had some sort of light. I had also found a flashlight next to her body that I was now using to find a way out. She was not able to escape so why should I be able to.

But then again at that time, I was thinking to myself, “This is just a nightmare. Mommy’s alive in the real world.” Little did I know what the future was to bring. The reality of the situation is still hard to grasp. It is so cruel and yet so real.

After I started walking, I heard footsteps following me. I stopped and the footsteps stopped. I, then, continued to walk. I heard the footsteps again. This time I continued walking then turned around real fast with my flashlight. I saw my mother’s corpse standing there.

I said, “Mother?” The corpse sort of just looked at me, or at least I thought it looked at me, it was hard to tell seeing as how there were no eyes.

My mother’s corpse said, “Run child, run, get out of here, Go now.”

I stood there for a minute and then bolted. I ran until I could not run anymore. When I stopped, I heard a noise. It was a familiar noise. I pointed to flashlight over towards where the noise was coming from. In the light I saw my dog Kali. She had died a few years back. I was shocked, but yet happy to see her.

She came over to me and that is when I got a good look at her. Kali had gotten hit by a car and then put down because there was nothing that the vets could do for her. She looked the same as she did that day, beat up, torn up and rotting. It was like another walking corpse.

Freaked out by it I sent her away and started to walk again. I was wondering who I would see next. Just as I thought that I heard a noise behind me. I turned around and saw nothing. I, then, turned back around and there was little Jacob right in front of me.

His face was all white and he was dripping wet. Jacob had been my little brother that drowned in a pool a few years back. Mother blamed herself, but I was the one that was supposed to be watching him. Instead I had been talking on the phone with my boyfriend at the time.

I just looked at him and then he said to me, “You let me drown. You left me.”

I started to cry and got down on my knees and said to him, “I’m sorry Jacob”.

He just said, “You let me drown. Now you shall pay.”

That is when I decided it was time to run again. The flashlight was starting to die and I started hearing noises again. This time the noises sounded more like that creature I had heard early on. I did not stop to check it out. The flashlights power was almost out when I started to see a bright light up ahead.

The white light was like a way out for me. I thought maybe if I make it to the light I can get out of this horrible nightmare. I just kept running and running. One time I tripped and the creature made a loud noise. I quickly got back up and started running again. There was no turning back or even looking back. I did not want to know where I was or any explanation for anything that I had seen.

I ran until I arrived here in the light. It seems almost like a hospital room, but I’m not quite sure. What is going on anyways? I’m not dead am I? Phew that’s a relief. Why can’t I wake up? You say because my body does not belong to me anymore? Who does it belong to? No you must be kidding. There’s no way that, that creature has my body.

Oh my God what are you doing? Let go of me. Don’t stick that needle in me. Who are you? Stop touching me. Leave me alone. I just want to go home. Let me go home. I don’t need drugs to calm me down. Keep that thing away from me. Ow don’t do that. No, wait, don’t leave me here alone. Don’t leave me here in the dark. I didn’t do anything wrong. Stop. Ahhhhhhhh.

Reviews

[A.E. Reed]

So, it was real good in the beginning but the 'your not going to believe me' does make people not want to read it like Montilee said.The concept for the story was interesting and creepy but I think you rushed the story a little bit. I feel there wasn't enough detail. Maybe, you didn't want a lot of detail, I just would have preferred it like that.

Also, it may be because I have a short attention span but you didn't keep me hooked through the whole thing, I'm not really sure what it was...

I agree with Austin as well that at the end it was slightly confusing. But that depends on what the author wants. I like it, but it could have been a little better...

-A.E. Reed

[Fairy Tales]

I enjoyed your story. I felt erriness from your words. really cool.

[Nickolaus A. Pacione]

This is impressive, frightening in every way. What makes it even more frightening is the build up and the suspense behind the horror story. Impressive but more can be added to this one, toy around with it to see what happens. You might have a horror novella in the making with this and who knows you might end up getting noticed by a few publishers or two. It is completely workable, right now it seems to be too short to really get the full effect of the story.

Keep it up, you got the makings of a cult horror story here. It hits home for me because I've been in a number of hospitals and if you want to read a hospital horror story, check out the story FALSE HEALER in my short story collection.

[Montilee Stormer]

Let's not start stories with "you're never going to believe this". The reader trusts you to give them a believable story and right off the bat you yank that rug away. For me, I skip the story. If I'm not going to believe it I'm moving on. For the sake of review I kept reading.

It's too disconnected. I like hearing abouto ther people's dreams but only when they say something. I get it - astral projection resulting in a discorporated soul and the body goes murderous?

To echo everyone else, there should be more explanation, more description, it's missing a lot of little somethings to be really good. It's very long to not tell us anything.

I'd call it a great first draft, and then get cracking on revisions.

[Chaos X 3]

I totally agree with Austin. What in the hell just happened? Is the creature an animal, vegetable, mineral, or other? Or is is just her conscience catching up? This story could be so awesome with a lil bit more work.

[Marc L Abbott]

I found this to be very interesting. At first, I felt as though I should be doing something to try and help but then the last three paragraphs seemed to detour that feeling and it started to read like the person was no longer speaking to me. Rather at that point I was in their head trying to figure out what was going on. You have a strong premise here and it has a very eerie feel. Review how you approach your ending. But I did enjoy this.

[Tamera Austin]

Hmmm...well, first off, this piece has the potential of being really GREAT! I love the whole "dream turning to nightmare, turning to something never ending" concept. However, it felt more like you were TELLING me her experience, rather than SHOWING me her experience. I really didn't feel her fear until the very last paragraph. And that last paragraph left me hanging. I was left with the feeling of, "What the hell just happened?" Maybe that's what you were striving for, but, (smiling here) it kind of pissed me off!
My suggestions are too, 1) add a little more feeling...2) reread it for puctuation, and wrong words...and 3) give the reader and ending that provides some kind of closure. Unless of course, like I said earlier, this is what you were going for.