Chaos

  Chaos in space turmoil without a face. In dark corners it lurks body made from doubts and fears. Spirit borne of fire. It can make us mad, sad or make us desire.

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

A thought provoking piece indeed... I like the way that you have almost personified "chaos"...turmoil within space, faceless and relentless. Your wording is nice, and the context leaves a lot of ablity for the reader to "read between the lines". My only suggestion would be the formatting. I think some of the impact of your lovely and insightful words is lost in the structure. Might I suggest something like:

Chaos--
space turmoil without a face.

In dark corners, it lurks
body made from doubts and fears.

Spirit borne of fire.
It can make us mad,
sad or make us
desire.

Just an idea, but by focusing the impact of the words in shorter more structured lines I think that you can really take this to another level. I did enjoy it, though...very well thought out and creative!

[TrimarcoRansome]

I like your poems, often very deep and dark. the only thing I would suggest is to format into short lines, by doing this it allows the reader to break them up when reading thus getting more of a flow...other than that, your writing style i like..keep sharing!
Helen

[Tomahawk Joe]

thank you for the review

[papaed]

Make sure it makes you desire. Turning away from the chaos of life shields you from the good as well as the dark doubts and fears. peace.

[Tomahawk Joe]

thank you for the review